Tag: father

Anders hater meg (II)

he always makes sure that

his words are heard, loud and clearly

I feel like nothing worth

they made cruel fun of him, those 70s kids

so of course the offspring got the curse

only this child was a girl,

and thank god

she had it easier in many ways, exept

the real unspoken truth, living in her head

lost in imagination, being so innocent

this didn’t last long, soon she never wanted

to be in classroom, in school yard or most of all

on her way home from Hell,

then she wishes

for heavy rainfall to pour down, to hide it

very well, sorry little girl; I know it’s hard

to speak of this, the deep issues and wounds

I see through the Darkness,

bright Light within us, both

This is my story, my fathers story as well and to say it’s still painful, is the honest truth. I still move forward, no matter what

Han der er ikke sånn som deg

Hører på Raga Rockers låt; Noen å hate

https://genius.com/Raga-rockers-noen-a-hate-lyrics

Some lyrics from the track: han der er ikke sånn som deg, fort deg bort og ta han, det er bare å følge fingeren som peker, dit hvor de voksne leker

(dette er om noe annet relatert til temaet, om en nær slektnings erfaringer)

dialekten, anderledes

inne i sin egen verden

mørkt hår, samiske trekk

såkalt løsunge, en uekte sønn av en same

som ikke visste han var av samisk ætt

venstrehendt og med kreative evner

men ignorert og pint av enhver elev som tror

de er mer norsk, mer verdt

enn han

Meeting him again

Tell us about your first day at something — school, work, as a parent, etc.

I met my father in Autumn 2007 after 12 years not knowing him. It was him who contacted us, we actually met three times at a spescific location with someone else present. I’m not going into details about why he didn’t visit our home.

I remember being very nervous and excited about meeting him, btw I was an emo kid so I wore heavy black eyeliner on that faithful day.

When I saw him walking past the room I was like ‘omg, he really is just like me!’ and that was true every time we met, I was used to see how I was similar to my mother in political views and philosophy etc but my appearance is more like his and the way we think and respond to others.

This was profound in every way, and I am grateful for those moments and when the conversations were friendly (they were not always, I mention again he wasn’t in our home), and I learned a lot about him and myself in these experiences. I hope this was interesting to others, and true Sámi passion forever ❤

Hey there, father

We have a complex relation, I have much compassion with his struggles and his inner strenghts. But in some ways you could say we all have choices in life, and he made some unfortunate ones in his young adulthood that prevented him knowing me and being my true father image. So what I’m really relating to is only a self-created impression from my own experience and perspective, I don’t actually understand him as he really is. He has at least 4 planets in Pisces and it shows in his life experience and way of speaking. I also watched the 1975 TV series named ‘Benoni og Rosa’ recently to understand his childhood adversity and the severe bullying he experienced in 1970s and 1980s Northern Norwegian society. He is of Sámi origins significantly and the kids called him ‘Lapp’ constantly, he didn’t know of his true Sámi roots until 2008 when I research his biological father history and genealogy. He is clearly over 25% Sámi or Finnish according to DNA-testing and his overall appearance match this as well, dark and coarse hair, high/prominent cheekbones plus almond-like shape to his eyes. I look more like him than I do with my mother in many ways. I wish he didn’t have the substance use addictions and his issues with rage, he has a tendency to play with others mind and emotions I know sadly from own experience in teenage years.

And I hope his Christmas and New Years will bring him more joy than pain.

Thanks for reading this post ❤