answer to dailyprompt-2046
24 years ago I was 8 and with early development of (untreated) schizoaffective condition and undiagnosed moderate-severe case Asperger syndrome. This is an interview with my childhood self.
Note/warning: difficult topics/themes related to childhood adversity
how do you feel about school?
They take my things and hold it above my head, I’m so much shorter that I cannot reach. They make fun of my names. They pretend that I pee in my pants when they pour orange juice on my jeans/tights in class. They kicked my friend to the ground for several minutes. My friend is of part Asian roots and the bullies don’t like the outsiders. It doesn’t help the bullying situation that I actually lose control of myself at school some days and my blonde teacher does very wrong things to me after gym class, especially when I’m having accidents.
what do you like to do in free time?
I watch cartoon series and read books inside, I write in my journal about everything and most of all I enjoy playing with my best friend outside in forest for several hours right by our home areas. We also play computer games together. My mother lets me play outside with my friend and she comes to our apartment often, too. It makes almost all of my hard efforts that I get through the days very worth it.
what happen inside your mind?
I create those different worlds that I tell the adults about with great passion. I’m sometimes wondering if I have magical powers and I hear things often that others really don’t. I don’t know why I don’t understand what they mean with the words and expressions, I often forget going back to class after recess. I cannot listen to teacher because I have fantasies and live in my head, the much safer place inside. I make myself throw up after food, if only I was thinner they would stop. My blonde teacher says so, be a good girl and not so chubby.
what is your nationality and do they make fun of your background?
I believe they are bullying me because I’m a strange one; not like them, very much shorter, with my very long and thick dark colour hair, I have a golden-ish ivory skin tone, my eyes are the Northern type with hazel colour, I’m a Finnish/Saami girl with the more strong cheekbones, but I don’t know why it seems it matters so much to the bullies.
what would you like to be when you are grown up?
I maybe would write a book series like Harry Potter books or maybe help other girls feel better when the others are bullying them or teacher doing wrong things to them. Fairtrade tea. Save the forests. Be kind to the refugees. Best friends forever and nothing else matters. Metal, pitch black and heavy. Yeah, I said that. At eight!
Thanks for listening to my late-mid childhood self ❤
cloudB 