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I have secret wish to be perfect and very obsessive about my appearance, I have a history of restrictive eating disorder and I’m diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and schizoaffective condition as my main conditions in psychiatry.

I have secret beliefs of different kinds, I keep them inside to avoid rejection and to ruin the feeling within of my compassion and genuine nature.

And secret love, the unrequited love I feel inside. Btw that’s also a dubstep track I have on my iPod. I am actually lesbian mostly, I just know my true direction inside and so it’s no partner involved in my life.

Thank you for reading ❤

This person is someone I know like myself. Because it truly is just that; me. I get advice sometimes to do the right thing and be honest with my core being about life. So one of the aspects reminded is to speak from the heart, straight from the core inner being. Not making it pretty and non-controversial to get people to like someone I’m actually not from within. To be honest with myself about this life, what I truly want to do when I’m alone or with others.

Get more natural sunshine and still take my necessary D-vitamin supplements along, getting a bonus sun tan as well ❤

My mother and father are apart, we were all living together before 95 when it ended. my father has addiction and he had very difficult childhood and youth history, severe bullying and xenophobic treatments along with untreated mental-health conditions, undiagnosed dyslexia etc. I don’t know him and I’ve only met him three times as a teenager, I have spoken with him on the phone in more recent years. He did DNA-test to show our ancestry and genetic relatives, this is the best gift I’ve gotten from him actually, my life would not be without him and his genetics. My grandmother also took DNA-tests and I really care about my fathers side a lot even if we have spent most time apart, not in contact.

my mother is my closest family and she has a son my half-brother and he has two girls; my half-nieces both are my absolute favourite because of who they are. My grandfather died in the late 2000s at only 68 and my grandmother is now 83 years old and I love her as much as anyone loves a great matriarch teacher with a big heart for wild birds and squirrels along with cats and six great-grandchildren. Can you tell I love all of them so much?

I hope you feel safe, it’s so important to be connected with a network like family or other close relationship even if not closely genetically related with. Thank you for reading ❤

I believe in the good-natured Spirit, it’s the force that keeps my world together in a connected way through difficult times. I’m convinced the good-natured Spirit wants everyone to feel loved by it’s presence in our lives. I believe the good-natured Spirit chose to guide me here, my new given names today became official after I made this choice in the morning. I’ve thought a long time about this topic and today is a new beginning in this life. This is actually true, I sent in the form online and now my name is changed. I identify with my new names and they matter to me as part of my identity.

My legacy in particular might be my written works of my perspective on life and my particular experiences being autistic and of Sámi ethnicity in Northern Norway. But most of all I want people to know the good-natured Spirit is there any time for them.

You are cared for by someone and give from the heart of your core being. The good-natured Spirit is there to guide you through hard times.

Thank you all for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Do you have any collections?

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Good morning, evening and night! I have a wonderful tea collection in my home and I’m deeply passionate about tea in general. I like a lot of different types of tea, from Darjeeling to oolong to Earl Grey and white tea and also herbal types like hibiscus, strawberry, ginger and lavender tea. I say it’s a collection because it truly is a living project and I don’t have just 5 boxes i have a bookshelf full of different tea boxes!

I have collection of several different types like my blankets and my many boots and not forget the digital collections, I have a deep interest in genealogy research and our family culture.

Thank you for visiting, good-natured people ❤

Daily writing prompt

Who would you like to talk to soon?

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well, not everyone on Earth exactly but my family members and close friends. I need to tell them of my new official names it’s so strange how fast it happened after the fact I sent in the things. I need new passport, new ID and I honestly need an oxazepam (benzo) as well.

I live in Arctic regions and the winter here is quite long and sometimes very cold like minus 30 degrees celsius some days. The other aspect is the amount of snow and winds, some other places close to our town things like the roofs blow off building during these storms. The roads on mountain passes are often closed during winter time it’s really affects our health-care systems and transportation in general, we have no hospital in our town so it’s either the big city Tromsø or our smaller rival town that I happen to love visiting btw. But we really need a true hospital here, honestly.

But my main point is how I deal with cold environment versus heat. I’m like a radiator according to many people, and I feel relief when I feel cold air again after being inside a for me too warm room. minus 20 degrees celsius outside feels comfortable in these settings.

During our summer season I start to feel uncomfortable at around 22° celsius and when it reach 30° celsius I feel exhausted and drowsy along with other symptoms. I know many don’t think that’s very warm, but I feel it strong. How I cope is to drink plenty cold drinks and seek to cool down inside as well. I like summer season a lot just normal temperature for my liking is from 10 to 20 degrees mostly.

No matter where we live there are good things about our climate and natural environment, I love my region and I’m happy for all we have. Thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

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when you have your basic needs met there is nothing stopping you from having enough, like you already know it. Having everything doesn’t need to be more complex than having these basic needs met. So it’s attainable in my opinion and perspective.

thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever broken a bone?

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short answer; no

off-topic answer; fell backwards on outside thin layer of ice stairs and huge painful bruises for many weeks after

Enjoy the music ❤

Daily writing prompt

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

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I want to write this book to bring to light what is currently very dark, the past of our indigenous cultures being under forced assimilation policies and discrimination of sometimes violent nature. And my own story about my roots and experiences in life. And I intend to actually make that dream a reality maybe even quite soon.

Daily writing prompt

How do you feel about cold weather?

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being Northern ethnicity and living in Arctic location it’s long winters some in all-day twilight/darkness no sunrise, no sunshine at all for over one month. But back to the actual topics it gets really cold in December and January often minus 20 degrees celsius or down to minus 30 degrees several times. But I’m a unusually warm person any season so I’m usually not affected by cold, I feel relief going outside from too warm environment in stores and pharmacy place, minus 20 is comfortable compared to the few times in summer when plus 30°C. I also really enjoy cold drinks even in cold days, I really want/crave a combination of Bacardi and Red Bull now, but I still have my pink colour Monster to enjoy.

thank you for reading and chill like you feel is right ❤ ❤

Daily writing prompt

How do you balance work and home life?

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I’m not taking my sleeping pills tonight I’m trying to get tired but I keep writing blogs instead of sleeping, okay so on to the answer;

my life isn’t divided clearly into work and home life as I’m disabled by medical conditions and don’t have a lot of advanced education to have work as well, so my kind of work is different from many perspectives. This blog is kind of like a work thing to me and I’m not lazy at all I enjoy getting passionate about work tasks and being active with a meaning to the have nots in society, my potential is often somewhat underestimated by some due to my conditions but I’m not useless and I know it’s prejudice based on my diagnoses.

I wish to be useful as a true Virgo sign influenced person and my Leo pride wants to be good, noble and successful in my activities.

Moses in the Sky

(sorry I could not help writing the Norwenglish phrases, it’s an inside things not Norwegian people get it even, I am of true schizophrenic mind after all)

Thank you for visiting ❤

Daily writing prompt

Who would you like to talk to soon?

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I’m looking forward to spend more time with my friend I’ve known now for ten years, she is a psychiatric nurse and we got along very well from beginning she is the close relation to friendships outside of family members. We are somewhat apart in generations, her gen X versus me Millenial, she is so good-natured and funny as well as very interesting speaking with. I’m so happy to know her ❤

short answer is; no

off-topic answer is; I’ve had plenty of minor procedures in both my lower limbs over the years and was limited by the conditions and the surgery itself is very challenging to cope with after the procedures, mostly open wounds and hypergranulation, other possible complications like nerve pains in legs.

thank you for the time, and I apologize for my strangeness in writing this answer ❤

Oh, school.

It wasn’t like they try tell you it is, it’s hardcore from the start for some of us it’s hellish and unsafe. I have written about it before and I’ve written about my fathers very difficult experiences as well, he really was treated like being nothing worth. In both of us it involved significant bullying and we both had enuresis conditions, I frequently wet myself in class and almost every night I wet the bed. It’s a sensitive topic, especially in my fathers case.

Btw I’m not trying to be bitter or anything it’s my way of writing and expressions of my inner world can be confusing and a little twisted also. I’m autistic and don’t understand well how my words are taken to mean in other minds.

But yeah, school in many ways was a sacrifice and in addition was sacrificed to move on in life in other areas.

I’m okay now, or at least that’s what I tell my mind to believe. Thank you for reading my blog today and greetings from Norway on our special day ❤ 🇧🇻❤️🤩

I have a half-aunt who is 18 years older than me, she is (one of, his mothers daughter) his younger half-sister and she has a Norse origin name just like my father and their mother. I know her from my childhood years, she has three children; one son slightly younger than me that I’ve met several times in my youth and know a little, and two (much younger) daughters. The older girl has Asperger syndrome kind of similar to me, the younger girl is turning 10 years this year (btw I’m turning 32 years this late summer). Okay so my aunt lives further South in Oslo region but is Northern in background living in Finnmark and Troms in childhood and teenage years.

Why I mention her is that she is unique among my relatives to know my fathers history from own experience and know his way of being. Unfortunately we don’t have contact after I moved further North in late 2000s at age 16 I’ve text some times after my grandmother told me I could ask her some questions. She has very long hair and brown eyes.

I have an iPod that’s the oldest electronic device I own and I care for it dear it’s my entire memories of lost music and feelings of pure joy and deep sorrow. Hardstyle tracks that can be a type of interpretation about voice-hearing of all topics relevant it’s a huge part I’m in psychosis and my insight is very good but still I’m manic and delusional and somewhat paranoid about everything related to my blogs and other parts of life, we must fight for justice and stand for something important.

Okay so back to iPod; it’s an iPod touch from 2012 from my memory right now, I have a lot of music on this device and I’m so lucky it still function very well it’s so great on trips to listen on earbuds to something magical and I say this honestly it helps with distraction from cruel voices in my ear region (like just outside ear or within that region of head, they sound real to me no matter the location inside/outside).

So my point is music and this electronic device is something that save my days in difficult times and lift my mood on good days as well as painful.

Thank you for listening and I will listen to some dubstep now, getting through this difficult part of living with schizoaffective condition. Wonderful evening and tomorrow is 17th of May 🇧🇻❤️

dailyprompt-1946

I have many different blankets, some are merino wool and others are synthetic and I enjoy all of them so much. I’m the type of person that needs to feel physically comfortable to deal with life in a better way, my mental-health conditions can make me prone to anxiety and pain. I also have severe physical pain conditions like paroxysmal hemicrania (a cluster headache-like condition) and a likely case of endometriosis so I use pain medication along with these blankets to feel less disabling severe pain and a way to treat my emotional symptoms of pain as well.

I use my different blankets every day and they are very useful in this way, nothing like a cup of hot calming tea and a couple of blankets to soothe the anxiety-related symptoms of my schizoaffective condition without taking more medications. I have no regrets in this part of life, I’m not afraid to admit to taking medication or focusing on my physical feelings of being safe and serene.

Thank you for visiting ❤

So I’m both, but generally I lead when it comes to independence and my opinions, I follow when that’s a good choice or if I’m really lost I lean on others guide us through the storm. I’m a Leo/Virgo/Sagittarius in astrology and my fire element placements are in 4th and 12th houses in water-themed astrological topics like emotions, home, imagination, dreaming etc.

My Virgo Rising influence makes me willing to be of service to my environment, it makes me feel better when I have some type of work, no matter how small. I really like astrology and I find it useful to sort out my life and human nature, being autistic it’s not always so easy getting the message clearly without a system like astrology or medical diagnosis to understand it.

Thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

How do you balance work and home life?

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i don’t have paid work due to my medical conditions. This doesn’t make me lazy at all though. I struggle with everyday life even on plenty different types of medications for neurological, psychiatric and somatic treatments like beta blocker and medications for womanhood curse and possibly endometriosis. I’m seeing likely a gynecologist soon. So often it’s these appointments and health care activities outside of office setting. We are outside speaking with each other and eat wonderful grillpølser from the campfire and pølsebrød witb ketchup on it.

I’m on Stilnoct now must sleep soon.

thanks for reading ❤

Note; answer this before, just wish to write some more about cider ❤ ❤

I enjoy cider a lot, I buying them once a week to store in a cool place like ‘kjøleskapet’ in my home.  It’s actually more about taste than getting intoxicated, and since I have epilepsy must be more careful and my medications can interact in different ways to alcohol. So here are some types I love to consume with joy ❤

My favourite cider right now are pear cider from different Norwegian brewery like Mack (Northern Norwegian legends, we are connected to this company by ancestry and family relations. In apple cider I like Grevens a lot, I like passionfruit and mango combination it is a perfect thing to enjoy in the heat or on Christmas Eve ❤

I like non-alcoholic grape juice a lot. And grapefruit is one of my favourites especially, we have a particular milder type of pink grapefruit juice at the local store. I like iced tea and especially the peach/black tea combination of isTe (I live in Finnmark, a Northern Norwegian)

I hope you enjoy drinking no matter tipsy or completely sober beverages.

Thanks for listening ❤

Daily writing prompt

Do you have any collections?

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I have a big collection of different types of tea, of course I also drink tea from this collection so it’s a living project. I have a shoe/boots collection with wonderful high heels and even one with a vampire on the design! I happen to have a large collection of pill boxes/organizers I found at pharmacy or similar places, btw if you don’t know me yet I’m autistic (Asperger syndrome, I’m Norwegian also) and I really like having several different hobbies and some prescious collections. I also have like around 15 different hoodies and many blankets that are in constant use.

thank you for reading my blog ❤ ❤

Pearberry; it’s a unique type of very sweet drinks, and the design on the box/can is pretty with the pastel colours and of course it’s a Battery energy drink so I like the brand as well. I just recently tried them I believe it’s quite new, and I’m loving it. I wish I had a couple of them right now in a cool place in our home.

Bacardi Breezer; I like the combination of sweet delight and the tipsy feeling along, it is best in moderation and together with water (Imsdal does the work perfectly) and a little can of energy drink as well.

Perry/pear cider; Honestly I love cider, pears and especially perry, the taste and the cold drinks in summer season spending time outside enjoying these beverages. I appreciate our wonderful garden and the Midnight sun ❤

Imsdal (or other plain water); there is nothing like water to match the hydration and relief of thirst that is part of everyday life. I like our local tap water, it’s definitively one of the best in our region.

Others; I enjoy my Earl Grey, herbal tea and combination of teas. I also like the lactose-free drinks like special type oreo shake or iced coffee.

Hope you have a wonderful afternoon ❤ ❤

Daily writing prompt

How do you feel about cold weather?

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note; likely off-topic and inside our ethnic group perspectives

our people are very used to quite cold temperature and plenty of snow, we are thankful to the good-natured Spirit inside all life on this planet Earth. Btw, I actually cried real tears of environmental passion and pain when they cut down a wonderful old tree to get more sunlight in our garden. I believe I was 4 or 5 years old then, I really love nature and being outside in our local wilderness was one my favourite activities as a child/teenager.

so back to cold weather, we sometimes get as low as minus 30° celsius and I often after that event have a lovely cup of hot tea after the errands in outside world; plus some really comfortable and warming blankets.

I’m like a radiator according to many, and it’s actually true, I get out in minus 20° celsius and feel pleasure in the cool breeze. I’m of Arctic indigenous origins partly, if we include the Sámi people as indigenous it’s clear that the Sámi eight seasons are central especially to Mountain Sámi culture, but other groups of Sámi people also honor features of these seasons. Giđđageassi ❤

Winter time can help creative persons make great art in their particular medium of creative expressions from deep down at the inner core of life. All seasons and all weather can inspire great works of art ❤

So I mostly enjoy cold weather and it’s both the reality of living in our Arctic environments and my tendency for heat during our winter season.

Thanks for listening ❤

Daily writing prompt

Are you a leader or a follower?

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NOTE; POLITICAL THEMES AND MY OWN OPINIONS, OFF-TOPIC IN A WAY

I’m a leader in my everyday life and follow the good-natured Spirit. I have a strong Leo influence in my astrology chart and the placements are in 12th house; the realm of dreaming and deep spirituality related topics. I listen and I speak both, in different languages and from several points of view it’s diversity that drives me toward the future through our present moment. Learning from the past is extremely important also, the World is going through the darkest, most difficult events in my lifetime here on Earth and of the many types of injustice and abuse of different kinds.

Daily writing prompt

What’s one small improvement you can make in your life?

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Note: my point about mostly this post is that the medications need to be adjusted to my current situation in symptoms and new options to help me improve my health in different ways, including nature and some good activism for important causes.

one thing I would love to be realised is taking one antipsychotic that does impact my overall mental-health conditions in a better way than right now I’m on two different antipsychotics that influence each other in effects so I get some side effects from the cocktails of psychiatric and epilepsy medications along with the painkillers I need for very severe pain conditions. I would also aim to be more active in political themes and for the lovely environment around us in our everyday lives as Norwegians.

Daily writing prompt

What sacrifices have you made in life?

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I don’t have children and never will, I’m mentally ill severely and also somewhat troubled eemotionally from difficult experiences in my childhood and youth.

I don’t have a romantic partner for many of the same reasons and if I was to have a partner it would be likely a outgoing type woman with a good heart and open mind.

I don’t have paid work and I go outside a couple of times a week, especially in winter season which is most of our year here in the Arctic location I live in.

and most importantly my sense of who I really am has gone through many profound changes, it was truly a different kind of World after being finally diagnosed with autism and psychotic disorder in my late teens/early twenties. It wasn’t a little thing on the side; it’s a big part of living life itself, knowing I’m not ‘normal’ has been eye opening experiences through my journey.

Note: About the Norwegian politics and themes of minority rights in my country, but also global in perspective to a certain degree in terms of right-wing politicians in other nations.

This can sound strange to many on the right-wing side, but I believe some of the well-known politicians on that part are not just right-wing politics oriented, but with actual far-right opinions and methods. They stirr up prejudice against many different minority groups including refugees, drug addicted people, the mentally ill, the disabled, LGBTQ and many more.

I have a couple individual politicians I dislike opinions of, one of them being the Progress party leader Sylvi Listhaug as mentioned earlier answer to this prompt. Street art was made of her a couple of years ago, you can research online if you wish to see it.

In the end I think we need to be compassionate with the different have-nots in society and fighting the system will help in that direction. Thanks for reading my blog ❤

Daily writing prompt

List your top 5 favorite fruits.

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It includes these types; pear, apple, clementine/mandarin, orange and grapefruit

And I especially like these fruits also in candy and beverages like juice and hard (alcohol-containing) cider.

Enjoy the Fruit ❤

I know this isn’t exactly an answer to this question but I really wanted to write about it. I have a dream of visiting one or several very large music event related to my favourite electronic dance music genres. In particular I want to visit the Netherlands because they have a large community of famous deejays and music producers that are known all over the World.

I want to feel the music with every nerve ending, the crowd in awe of the moment and the visual light show as part of it. The emotional journey of lyrics and being deeply moved by the music itself. It’s been one of my dreams for a long time and I believe I’m getting closer every year to making it come true in outside reality.

I love music so much and I would love to be there among the other passionate ravers (I’m soon 32 years old), but everyone is different in some way so we are truly united in spirit ❤

Thanks for listening ❤

Daily writing prompt

What’s the oldest things you’re wearing today?

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My biker shorts are several years old, maybe I bought them in 2022 because I just loved them a lot. It’s not truly shorts as much as really a kind of long legs boxer underwear. I believe I have at least 5 of them currently, and I wear them often.

I do like clothing and fashion in general, maybe it’s clearly quite visible on my blogs 😂❤️

Daily writing prompt

What was the last live performance you saw?

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I will mention this event even though it’s over 10 years ago, because it was special. In September 2014 we were four people together in Oslo staying at a hotel close to the concert hall/stadium, we were watching Lady Gaga live. We also did plenty of fun activities while in Oslo, like walking outside on the opera ceiling(?) taking great pictures of the warm and sunny late September day.

My cousin is a big fan and had been to several concert events before. In my case it was the first large music event I had been to, so I remember the impact of the bass and being together in a passionate crowd of her fans.

I will never forget this evening when I got back to hotel room with exhausted legs from standing for several hours, so worth the trip to experience something new ❤

thanks for listening ❤

as I said in previous answer I would be a psychiatric doctor for just one day, to see it from the other side of my long career as a psychiatric patient with severe conditions. And I was seeing my own current psychiatrist today, so it is quite relevant now especially. I wonder how their other patients interact with the doctors, and I would like to know about their life and how the symptoms of different conditions affect their days (and nights) in this type of relation.

Daily writing prompt

What do you do to be involved in the community?

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honestly I mostly stay inside and don’t socialise a lot outside of my common environment with friends and family. But I do some useful activities that help our community thrive, like going to local store and speaking with other people there and help the local economy in this way. We go on trips outside and with the campfire events we enjoy some food heated on the fire like Norwegian grillpølser. I also participate in cultural activities in our local Kven ethnic group, our family are proud Kven people and we intend to learn the languages (both Kven, modern Finnish and North Sámi) for use in daily life.

so these are some of my small efforts in the local community, I wish to do more as well. Thank you for reading ❤

I have some preferred brands in different aspects of my lifestyle. One of these brands is English Tea shop and it really is very good also just without sugar or anything added to it.

It’s not really about the brand itself but often the qualities of the products including being organic and fairtrade.

I adore tea so much and I like many types, including the blend of white tea, blueberry and elder flower from this brand. The calming chamomille tea in the evening before sleep and the lovely Darjeeling tea in the morning. Their Earl Grey is so wonderful, the best I know of. So it’s English tea shop that’s often my favourite brand of teas of different kinds.

I also like New Nordic supplements and herbal skincare, it’s a Scandinavian brand and I use the different supplements to enhance my health. I like my brand new Topaz brand boots of the two different models; Amundsen and Sami. They are so warm in even minus 25 degrees celsius and they look very beautiful in true winter season nice weather.

I’m kind of rambling now, so I’ll close with this:

Enjoy this lifetime and feel the bliss of everyday delights ❤

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite brands and why?

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no surprise to many people I like drinking a lot, especially energy drinks. I had a heavy 10 year habit in my youth and early adult years but I’ve cut down a lot still.

my favourites:

1 Battery energy, Finnish brand and I had several cans in real Finland it was special.

2 Red Bull, especially the deep dark blue little can

3 Bacardi, both the Razz and the Breezer in particular

4 Coca-Cola it’s classic and easily available in any local store

Daily writing prompt

What’s a job you would like to do for just one day?

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I wonder what it’s like being on the other side of the relation with patient doctor roles. I’m also interested in what other patients do in their sessions with doctors.

Hope we all get through this hard time