Midnight sun season soon over

As we are getting close to Midnight here now it’s still light, but not like it was in May or June. We get these weeks of all-day light and quite warm temperatures for considering our Arctic location. I’m hoping my refills will be ready for the rest of summer through August month. I’m seeing my psych and the gyn in mid month, the answers to my questions about treatments may come through these appointments. I’m really done with the severe pain affects my sleep and rhythms. I hope it’s not very serious illness or maybe not be able to treat at all. Life is still good at the core and I’m so lucky living here in beautiful place, safe and often serene. I remind myself often ❤

Those are some thoughts about my own life and conditions on this summer late evening in Arctic Norway.

Thank you all for reading ❤

Three Days Grace

answer to dailyprompt-2006

Listening to music when I write or physical work like walking outside or to tidy in my home, I like different genres of music including this type of rock music. Here’s some lyrics from ‘Animal I have Become’

‘So what if you can see the darkest side of me, help me believe, it’s not the real me’

I say I think in song lyrics along with the sounds so this comes to mind, lyrics are part of my life in-depth experience.

Dance, Dance or the Darkness

What do you listen to while you work?

I can fall asleep while listening to hardstyle, I love the rhythms of the psytrance music sub-genres like hitech progressive darkpsy and other. I’m most liking dubstep or psytrance for writing and introspective work. Other times black metal albums and individual songs playing on deep journey into my darkest side prepare for spirituality type dreams with the shadows inside.

And Norwegian. Usic definitively I listen to for familiar culture and my roots in Norwegian ethnicity and language. I’m on Stilnoct now, soon sleep some.

Medicine for the souls of Fire

answer to dailyprompt-2009

what strategies do you use to maintain your health and well-being?

I do a couple of things. Taking my different medications is a part of my daily routine. They help me function in both inside and outer level in society to some degree. I write a lot, especially on these blogs and I choose topics based on my mental and emotional state of being. And I listen to music every day, often for several hours. These summer days it’s so good having cold drinks anywhere it’s not like extremely warm at all just around 20 degrees celsius outside perfect temperature actually. I keep active in some aspects of life, both socially and energetic type physical activities like walking fast up a steep hill carrying 10 kilos of beverages for… okay the last part wasn’t that healthy, I’m aware of it.

I think I’m actually thirsty so I need to trade for a can of just regular cola from upstairs, Sunday so every grocery stores are closed today. I’m kind of losing my mind right now. Happy end of week from Northern Norway ❤

soon Invincible

answer to dailyprompt-2014

Was today typical?

Listening to hardstyle bootleg versions of Borgeous – Invincible

I need some cheer up mood so I listen to happy music to feel better. Both are on my blog if you wish to listen yourself, it’s a type of electronic dance music/EDM genre. I like the lyrics ❤

it’s summer time now, I enjoy a cider in the evening and some writing as well. It’s soon the times of many birthdays in our family in August and September months, including my own birthday I’m turning 32 years this year.

The Darkness I’m not letting it pull me down too much, this summer is special and I’m really lucky living in comfortable temperatures in summer time. It’s around 20°C outside, a lovely evening and truly great weather, real bright sunshine all night (Midnight sun here until very end of July) and I just love some cold drinks along a wonderful summer day ❤

Reden mit Ingvild

answer to dailyprompt-2014

Was today typical?

I like the song ‘Reden’ by Tokio Hotel so I try some German in the title along one of my names. I was supposed to learn more German language in videregående but I was too psychotic to study anything and wasn’t on medications before young adult.

Btw, I’m an Aspergian/autistic so this is important to mention some time in my posts for new people not knowing my history of diagnosis and treatments.

so far this day is slightly different from usual, I wish I had more to drink tbh. I’m again not actually alcoholic, the more I say that it seems strange right? I like our summer time light and sunshine and when temperature is just perfect both inside and outside.

I remember my teenage school many video projects with us being actors in the films we made, it was so funny and deeply painful both same time. I’m reminded of my teenage years usual teen angst all of teenagers have, of the bullies and the severe psychosis untreated and not aware of even in youth psychiatry in knowing my conditions.

Okay so that’s part of it, but not everything.

Så faen altså, har bare lyst å skrive om det jeg hiver innpå når jeg trenger det, en pause fra psykosen og når føler meg utilpass i livet:

Smirnoff Ice; very nice.

Battery Blue; I love you.

I’m the Razzpergian.

(Ja, Bacardi Razz og Asperger syndrom. Helt logisk, ikke sant?)

I wish happy days for everyone ❤

I need the medicine

yes, this is kind of random and I’m taking my medications of course. Just not really on time which gives me symptoms of pain.

I’m so sick by Flyleaf

Pain by Jimmy Eat World

billy talent – Nothing to lose

a bootleg version of Borgeous – Invincible

billy talent- Standing in the rain

other bootleg of Borgeous – Invincible

billy talent- River Below

Three Days Grace – Animal

Three Days Grace – I hate everything about you

Bullet for my Valentine – All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)

Culture wars

answer to dailyprompt-2007

What would I change about modern society?

note: I’m from Norway and I don’t know the united states of America or Western countries like United Kingdom or Australia conditions that well from the inside perspective. But we have some of the culture wars a little in Norway also. Especially around the immigration, ethnicity and Sametinget.

the culture wars are not really about minorities mostly, it’s a way to prevent us from class struggle and uprising against the Ruling class of the rich and those who profit from ecocide and wars. It’s not in my name that they use the downtrodden and minority groups that some I am a part of and others are part of my little social circle, especially non-European origins refugees, immigrants and the immigrants children growing up in Norway. I really am against Progress party politicians and the use of these prejudice against minority persons of different kinds. The rhetoric bothers me a lot for big reasons, I’m a left-leaning anarchist and growing up in leftist family culture going back generations.

I am of Sámi origins and I’m allowed to vote in political elections to Sametinget due to my recent ancestors spoke Sámi languages and I identify as Sámi in my life. But it’s getting more very toxic political environment around our identity as Sámi because some media, politicians and ordinary people are so divide oriented in these topics. It’s harming our culture tbh how it’s a target of social control and identity police.

I don’t have much strong understanding of why people gets very passionate about these topics and not on real war or our destructive acts toward mother Earth.

another part is the unity of our human beings and how we can work together once we truly clear see how the Ruling class is treating everyone else in all of our society.

I’m really hoping we can get focus on human rights and the topics important to class struggle and revolution.

thank you for listening and for the read, fellow members of human nature ❤

Three names, one woman

answer to dailyprompt-2013

how would I describe myself to someone?

I would describe my appearance, my interests, my experiences in life and all the little things that are unique to me. My cultures and ethnicity, my family, my psychiatric conditions and political ideology. And my three given names.

Here is an example;

I am Synnøve/Ingvild/Torunn and I’m a woman in my early 30s. I’m from far-Northern Norway and my ethnic background is mixed Norwegian, Sámi, Kven, Finnish, in addition of Romani (tatere) plus the indigenous Norwegian Traveller (skøyere, further back Yenish peoples of Central Europe) and some Swedish origins in recent generations. I have quite thick straight hair and a little coarse in texture in dark brown colour, hazel/green colour eyes and I measure at 156 centimeters in height. I’m passionate about genealogy, DNA-tests, genetic genealogy research, far-left political ideology, astrology and diversity in different life areas. I have a Virgo Ascendant/Rising sign. I’m also autistic, I have temporal lobe epilepsy and I’m diagnosed with the severe mental illness of schizoaffective/schizophrenia plus mood disorder. I had some difficult times growing up, especially being bullied. I love listening to music and writing.

Thank you for listening, comrade/fellow terrestrial ❤ ❤

Reindeer kebab and culture

What foods would you like to make?

Note: This is not my own image, I found it online.

I like kebab and I like reindeer meat, so it’s something I would like to make myself without paying so much for it for the fast food aspects.

It’s good to my mind that we are even open to more diversity in food including Sámi traditional types. I’m very thankful for foreign friends and other cultures influence society in ways that we didn’t know before.

And if new to my blog I’m of part Sámi indigenous origins and I know core Sámi regions people in everyday life even though I’m not of the people speaking North Saami language in true free conversations.

Most of us, at least in my home town between the coast and the Mountains, are actually quite mixed background going back many centuries of good relations between the Sámi, Finnish, Kven, Norwegian, Swedish etc.

Note: this is not my own image

Many of my ancestors herd reindeer and some were Mountain Sámi group. Many were Sea Sámi group and at least in one family census record from coastal regions show they had own reindeer on their land. I don’t know if that was common or rare at the time of the census (folketelling) being done.

So I would love to make my own reindeer kebab.

Thank you for looking, reading and have a wonderful summer night ❤

I’m so impulsive

What foods would you like to make?

note: this is about drinks, fruit, summer time and lifestyle topics.

oh, yes the summer time. Some wonderful fruit and Smirnoff Ice very nice. I’m not an addict I love summer season drinking cold beverages to cool down and chill outside in the sunshine days. Fruit salads in the outdoor environments, sometimes we visit family who have bbq and grilling different food outside. I love fruit in different forms and especially orange. Pear flavour drinks like pear cider and Battery energy drinks with pearberry type taste experience.

I like our garden and I must also get the refills on my prescribed medications to function well in the evening and morning, I’m not using them together at same time with a lot of cider because even though I’m impulsive, I use my head to make better decisions on important lifestyle choices and my health, physical and mental. I want to have more little cans of Smirnoff Ice for tomorrow. Summer holiday ❤

Leah Aurora, Johanne and Mia

If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

Note: about psychiatry related topics, my inner world and plenty of psychoactive beverages.

Yes, my inner world characters. Leah Aurora is the perfect pretty one, Johanne is the Aspergian I wish I wasn’t and Mia is my evil twin born of wounds from life and my inner Darkness. I don’t have DID/dissociative identity, I really have the schizoaffective condition and the moderate case of Asperger syndrome. My own names Ingvild, Synnøve and Torunn. I hear voices since late childhood and it used to be constantly abusive and never-ending agony. Now it’s less intense.

And I would have a pasta salads plus other pasta dish. Plenty of alcohol-containing pear and fruit champagne cider. Along with energy drinks in especially the Battery blue and the pearberry.

I would have deep, open difficult conversations at table of four parts of me. The roots (IC/Nadir point in astrology) of my being are in Scorpio sign with Pluto in it’s own power. The mild percentage alcohol will have an effect on the mood at the gathering.

Sometimes I wonder if this event would help my healing journey become the living reality of my deep dreams. So these are the inner world characters I would invite to have dinner together.

Thank you for reading ❤

Expressions

How do you express your gratitude?

I thank the good-natured Spirit for the life I get to experience. Faith in my own 100% concentrated power of will (yes, from a song lyrics) and my strenght and determination of the Finnish roots in our family culture. A sense of humor that honor the sacred forces of true grateful living.

Maybe this doesn’t sound very deep, but it really is profound to me.

hide and seek

an extra answer to dailyprompt-2004

Also known in my Norwegian language as ‘gjemsel’ (sounding more like ‘gjømmsel’, really in this dialect mix) and it’s really hide and seek, quite straight-forward? Both yes and maybe not so clearly after all.

it’s a classic game. And even with the Sheltie we played this game outside. So hide and seek, it’s interesting how we choose to hide ourselves well and where to find others using our mind, the senses and many other inner qualities we have like empathy and memory.

thanks for listening ❤

Lavender tea and merino wool

What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

Note: I’m a very comfort driven person as said in some my other answers to the dailyprompt.

Drinking hot lavender tea during the cold polar nights of December with my soft merino wool blankets and warming merino wool clothing close to me is the best I know in these times when the sun doesn’t rise. I listen to the signals I get from within, I act on my feeling and experiences. Music also plays a big part, sometimes it’s black metal and others like dubstep on my quite good sound system. I’m not lazy, I’m conscious of my limits and needs. We all could listen more to our body and mind, the connection between these and our actions.

Thank you for reading my blog ❤

Sleeping beauty

another answer to dailyprompt-2010

my classmate called me ‘Tornerose’ because I arrive late to class in the mornings. I really was difficult waking up and actually get out of bed. Sadly for me I also had nocturnal enuresis so I had this routine when I woke up. Not going into much details. I had a slightly long walk for school so I had to walk fast to arrive in time for lessons. This was in 5th grade level. But the funny thing was it wasn’t percieved by me as an insult really, I’ve been through much worse names called.

so my nickname was Tornerose/Sleeping beauty back then in mid 2000s Norway. Some names stick around and others are just a moment in time. Btw, my current first given name is Torunn 🤭❤️

Heated debate

what is warm here? What is warm to me?

yeah, 30 degrees celsius is in the sun

like a sauna stepping in, outside

86°F or similar idk to you

I cannot imagine the situation of 100 degrees

outside the sauna experience of our culture

is it warm to you, in other regions, other nations

30°C, I’m very lucky now

I don’t live in Oslo, they have 32°C at the moment

but rainfall we miss

dry ground is dangerous ground

even here fire can burn

writing sometimes about that

Awkward, always

yeah I’m drinking, again

sorry I say, every time

fashion, energy and perry

so I had

no clue really

my dear one

Pisces soul, true light

blonde

blue eyed friend, her

Finnish fighter spirits, they

kicked her, minutes pass

both in pain, again

forget good enough

perfect pictures of me, I took

with some pride, inside

black eyeliner thicker, thin skin still

the very mean girls calling

her, or my, name so

differently, darkness inside

Life, as it just is

I’m a wild one

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

Currently I’m drinking a lot. But I have it under control somewhat at least. So I drink day and night, now it’s Midnight sun time at 3 in “night” so it’s not at all dark. I wake up when it just happen to stop dreaming or alarm/phone call in morning. That is if I have been sleeping of course. When I stay up it’s wild times of day, and very irregular in nature. I wish to keep the things under control, I have history of addiction in family and certain drugs/substances I really dislike and will never use even if legal in future or currently. I cannot tell people completely to not use substances because I use substances, even if it’s alcohol and legitimate medicines for disabling conditions. So sleep when you can, dreaming is good for us all.

Thanks for listening ❤

Stavanger and Oulu

answer to dailyprompt-2008

my future plans are visiting Stavanger in Rogaland county of Norway. My great-grandfather was born there and we have strong roots to Rogaland county in our family. I want to visit the Western regions of my country, I’ve been only to Oslo and Kristiansand in Southern regions for days.

and even more i want to visit Oulu city of Northern Finland. I have ancestors from Oulu and I love Finland, so sad to see they joined the evil NATO. But Finnish language is a big part of my liking the country as it truly is. I have from before in year 2016 travel down Torne River Valley on a tourist learning trip for Kven origins Norwegian citizen and others.

so my future travel plans are connected to my roots very strongly. Past times meeting the present day and plan for future events.

cider and a triple cheese

aanswer to dailyprompt-2005

what is my go-to comfort food?

I’m so warm now. I’m going for another pear cider to at least in theory cool down. I take lactase supplements when we heat the triple cheese pizza type, being genetics and ethnicity based lactose sensitive/intolerant but I love a lot of cheese on the pizza. It’s so wonderful with just right made pizza with crust and the cheese being a delights for the senses.

i also like as previous mentioned vegan ice cream, lactose-free oreo shake and the iced coffee. If not aware I’m not a native speaker of English. I’m so strongly wanted the cold cider, so I’m getting it from the fridge right now.

Thank you for reading my blog ❤

Katta; the cat and the little black dog

answer to dailyprompt-2002

I’m mostly familiar with dogs from childhood to now in my 30s. But I like cats also, my cousin is a true cat person; she is a part of Dyrebeskyttelsen in Norway for animal welfare and animal rights. She had four cats in house for several years. I like how Bengal cats look and their unique behaviour from the wild side and domestic cat together. They are so intense and yet funny beings.

I’m a dog person. My mother has an elderly little black dog that I see often and one of my grandmothers has several dogs since like the 1970s to now. We got our first dog in 1999 when I was 6 years old, a great Sheltie that stay with us for 14 years.

I love animals ❤

more about the Sims series and me

another answer to dailyprompt-2004

i met the Sims series in 2000 with the original game and I was seven years old then. I loved it! Maybe a little young to play but it’s was great fun. I kept playing the different generations of the games until I moved to other apartment in different town. I really like the concept of Sims games and I have a strong imagination that is useful for enjoying these games. I had a vampire sim that I created and she was me when I was playing at least a very dear friend to my inner world. I play for many hours long sessions. I got so upset when her husband was having secret affair with another sim, I actually killed him by hunger because he did betray my sim and also in extended way me also. That’s an example of how it was back in the days. I wish I still was playing but just now I’m preoccupied by different life aspects that include being outside and other things like writing this blog.

ándagassii, áhčči

Mun áiggun dan bures. Váttisvuohta lea ahte in ádde du. ándagassii, áhčči

answer to dailyprompt-2010

What’s the story of my nickname?

my family and including my fathers side are of Sámi origins a lot, we have a certain look that can be visible to some people in society. I’ve taken different DNA-tests with MyHeritage and 23andMe and father has taken MyHeritage DNA-test to make me happy to know our family and ethnicity estimates. The new MyHeritage ethnicity estimate is different from earlier version so I’ll refer to the menu on right side with my ethnicity estimates.

my father got the nickname ‘Gilbert the Lapp’ because he was different and victim of severe bullying and xenophobic abuse. My fathers name isn’t Gilbert btw.

polarMidnight, my nickname here is from the conditions in natural light of our Arctic environment, polar nights during some months of the winter and the Midnight sun in most of our summer time. Cloudberry is from culture in Finnmark county of the use of the cloudberry in food, drinks and last but not all least; dessert.

I don’t have a close relationship with my father, he is suffering from chronic addictions to several substances and had a difficult past including childhood and youth adversity and he was the victim of a serious hate crime.

My father on earlier version of MyHeritage ethnicity estimate had Scandinavian/Sámi, Finnish/Sámi, Greek/Southern Italian, Arctic indigenous/Inuit, Central Asian, West Asian and indigenous American.

giitu go lohket mu blogga ❤

(in English):

thanks for reading my blog ❤

Cha Cha Cha: dance with me, I’m Finnish 💗💕😂🇫🇮

Which activities make you lose track of time?

I get lost in time from my cans of alcohol pear cider listening to catchy music of different kinds. I’m not in a serious mood at all now 🤩❤️🇫🇮

The music take me somewhere awesome inside, life is feeling very good right now!

Cha Cha Cha by Finnish musician Käärijä I’m listening tonight and I have this cool YouTube lyrics video with the Finnish lyrics plus the English translation. If you are curious you can check out his other music as well 😊👌

And yes, I’m actually Finnish by ancestry and our family is of Kven culture strongly. I love the Finnish language ❤ ❤

hyviä aikoja toivottaen!

En, to, tre, fire

yksi, kaksi, kolme, neljä

okta, guokte, golbma, njeallje

one, two, three, four

Some Finnish language music;

Haloo Helsinki! with ‘Perjantaina’

(I really like this track especially ❤ )

Haloo Helsinki! with ‘Beibi’

Jannika B with ‘Onnenpäivä’

and not to be forgotten:

Some more text, Finnish and North Saami;

Olen ylpeä suomalainen,

olen ylpeä pohjoisnorjalainen,

ja mun lean čeahpes sápmelaš.

I’m a proud Finn, I’m a proud Northern Norwegian

and I’m a proud Sámi.

Gaskaija beaivváš,

keskiyön aurinko,

Midnight sun.

And I won’t forget to say;

buorre idja, hyvää yötä, good night ❤ ❤

the voices, the lyrics and the dubstep

second answer to dailyprompt-2006

I have paranoid schizophrenia with mood disorder (or schizoaffective condition) and I hear voices as part of my inner life and the daily experience of my mental illness. So sometimes I give the voices a chance to speak without censorship, and I note what topics it’s about. I really value my dreams also, the way it shows my inner world in a type of movie version that’s immersive and deep in psychological nature.

as I’ve described before I basically think in lyrics, in musical sounds together. It’s like what comes to mind first when I’m writing or speaking, it’s actually quite useful often.

and I listen to different genres of music, but dubstep is very special to my work activities including mostly writing and introspective work. It’s about the feeling and I really can recommend the songs ‘Elements’ by Fractal, ‘Blue’ by Au5 and Fractal and many others for writing and introspective work.

For energy I listen to a lot of HiTech psytrance as mentioned in earlier answer to this question. Psytrance has several sub-genres like progressive, hitech and forest among others like darkpsy.

so this is what I listen to when working. Thanks for reading ❤

racism, xenophobia

What bothers you and why?

Note/warning; possibly triggering or upsetting topics.

I’m a far-Northern European of nationality (Norway) and most of my more recent ancestors were technically ‘white’. Yet I’m of minority background in my country; a mix of different cultures. And in my childhood and youth the large majority of my friends were non-European origins refugees or immigrants to Northern Norway region.

and our history in my close family is affected heavy by xenophobia and sometimes even plain racism. My father was severely beaten with metal chains and other weapons at age 12 years by some horrible racist violent youths who target him because he was different. They report to police, but nothing came of it so the xenophobic youths got away with this terrible crime.

I had a racist teacher in 8th to 10th grade that hated the different ones generally actually, not only student of foreign origins or of far-Northern mix + far-Southern Romani Traveller peoples ethnicity like me. Btw that teacher taught me a lot about human nature and what is not good about our school system, nothing is without a useful lessons in life.

so xenophobia/racism bothers me on a very profound level due to my experience and seeing friends being affected and our family roots in other minority cultures, and true diversity is the key to inclusive environment overall.

thank you all for reading ❤

research

answer to dailyprompt-2001

What activities lose my track of time?

So I do some type of light research at least daily and more heavy in-depth research on occation. This helps me connect with my inner and outer part worlds and it’s very meaningful and important to me. Whether it’s astrology, spirituality, genetics, genealogy, social causes and political themes etc osv; I lose the sense of hours going by and sometimes I lose myself inside the activities and mental state. I’m right now taking sedating medicine and drinking chamomille tea along so I’m not entirely my normal self. I’m also prone to lose okay so my writing doesn’t work now the medicine is very strong. Thank you for reading and I’m soon going to sleep, Midnight sun shines through my room window tonight. Happy days! ❤

Dubstep, indeed

What is your favorite genre of music?

People are sometimes surprised by my favourite music genres because I’m different from the expected type of person listening and enjoying this music. I really like dubstep and I have since my late teenage years been listening to the bassline and drops, the hybrid genres also.

‘Fall Silently’ by Ephixa is one of my favourite tracks in hybrid of hardstyle and dubstep.

‘Blossom’ by Au5

‘Blue’ by Au5 & Fractal

Thanks for listening and enjoy life ❤

Cloudberry fantasy land

answer to dailyprompt-2003

what food would I like to make?

I wish I had the skills and motivation for it but I like it this way mostly. I buy things especially local Northern brands and the Finnish brand Battery energy drinks.

Note: I can have an unusual sense of humor sometimes and I’m a mixed Northern Norwegian culture person. I don’t make cider, it’s not legal here to make alcohol-containing drinks without real skill and regulation. No hjemmebrent/moonshine for me, thank you. I’m lucky I’ve never tried it myself.

First the food: I like pasta salads a lot. Especially with the strong dressing (I don’t know what to call it in English) and some nice tuna or chicken with. I actually make this food sometimes even though I’m kind of not experienced actually making food. I buy healthy Norwegian food that is easy to prepare for eating soon after it’s done cooking. Btw I’m quite mindful eating and have no distractions from the meal. I like slightly spicy food so maybe I would make spice mix?

Dessert: Cloudberry anything for dessert. Really.

now the beverages: I drink tea and it’s from organic origins. I have special tea rituals that make it extra meaningful to know how to get the best experience from it. I know my tea preferance very well.

I would like to make my own favourite pear cider, make it my specialty. I like different energy drinks taste like for example apple, raspberry or pear.

Maybe I could make my own strange brand of alcohol and energy drinks mixed called ‘hipster-karsk’? 😂👌 (type Norwegian culture silly/odd inside humor)

thanks for visiting ❤

reflection and mirrors

answer to dailyprompt-2000

what bothers me and why;

I’m not comfortable seeing reflection of my own. It just feels completely wrong inside, I don’t think a lot about my appearance when I interact with others. But when I must see my self in a mirror I really feel uneasy and even guilty. Why am I feeling guilty then? Self-hatred isn’t that good for anything. Doesn’t help when I remember my youth difficulties with my identity and the bullying I was experience then. The words used toward pretty girls from Finnmark county online is a perfect example of the xenophobic views in society. They say to them things like ‘you are so pretty.. for being from Finnmark’. I don’t think they realise what they really implicitly saying. We are as group of many different ethnicities here for centuries, thousand years maybe. So it’s clearly ethnicity motivated abuse disguise as rude compliments.

so that’s some things that bothers and upsets me. Mirror Mirror fuck it all

(Btw, we swear more here in my county, at like in the general society)

I ain’t got seventy days

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Note: I get to the point eventually.

Yes, I enjoy a drinking session and yet I don’t ever want to drink again. I really mean it. Oh, the cold cider is so intoxicating and lovely. I’m Norwegian.

That the answer would be both in different ways. I’m a lot seeking security within me even through dark times. And the inner world is an adventure if you begin to observe it with mindful state and creative expression. I’m autistic and strongly introspective by type, so the safe place is inside my own world.

The adventure has several features that are important to consider. To face the fear with courage and the Darkness of life to heal wounds I carry from life experiences. As an example of the difficult times I struggled with school system and the bullying, I believe it is opportunity to make this a part of my inner strenght even more truly powerful in my healing journey across several generations of childhood/youth adversity.

I want to write a real book about everything I wish to share with the World around all different countries. I have a lot of things on my mind now. My dreams and in several meanings dreaming of something greater than the self, the unity of life and last but not least creative activities like writing and musical expressions. I come from a musical family and I’m so thankful for it.

I hope this was meaningful and of interest to others, thank you for reading my blogs and be safe and explore everything ❤

some thoughts on thinspiration

answer to dailyprompt-2007

The ideal image and the values of thin living. I used to be thinner and had a restrictive eating disorder in late teens. Then after being on antipsychotics I began to gain weight and currently I’m not obese, I was nearly 80 kilos like 6 years ago. One meter plus 56 centimeters ‘tall’. Okay, so what would I change about modern society? It’s on the Internet, the pro-ana culture online. I see these youth on photos and wish so much to challenge this trend with some methods that can get people thinking about themselves differently. No matter your weight or appearance you are worthy and loved by the Spirit.

Thank you, my readers, for the time ❤

the Sims series

answer to dailyprompt-2004

Like I said on other blog a year ago my favourite computer game is Sims. I got lost within the games for hours and my imagination was working on things while playing. It was very immersive and fun, sometimes quite deep experiences for me. The sims were a part of me, I got close with them when I play for several sessions and I still remember the experiences long after.

another game I enjoy is called ‘Skip-Bo’ it’s a card came, I was introduced to it while patient in a psychiatric unit/psych ward. It’s fun as a social activity and I often actually was on the winning team 😂👌

have fun playing ❤ ❤

More about balance, and Libra

Are you seeking security or adventure?

Note: off-topic in nature, but still relevant.

Both, really. Combined in the right way it can help get things done successfully.

I should add to this that I seek balance in security and adventure. Adventure is needed just like security is also. I’m a Norwegian Aspie so sometimes my expressions of English is different.

And being an Aspie (Asperger syndrome person) my physical coordination and balance can be affected in adverse ways. Like I fell after losing my balance in physical education lesson and the shame from the unfortunate accident. I feel like confessing to my shameful times now, but should I do that? What did the teacher say and do after this episode? I will not go too far with this post. Maybe it’s not needed to reveal all here. I want to respect your feelings and difficult topics. Btw, I used to be quite good in walking gracefully with very high heel boots, other people said so at least.

As I mention in previous answer my Jupiter in Libra is in 2nd/second house and together with Mars in a weak conjunction. Libra themes is very related to fairness and harmony along with grace and beauty. I’m very into astrology at this time right now. Being autistic can make me passionate about my favourite interests and topics like this. Sometimes too strongly, talking with them, for the patience of other persons.

Thank you for reading, for some reason I feel insecurity about this post.

all my psychiatrists through my time as patient

Daily writing prompt
If you could host a dinner and anyone you invite was sure to come, who would you invite?

I truly need some adjustment in my antipsychotics and other neuropsychiatric medications as soon as possible. So I would want to gather all my current and my many former doctors to discuss my symptoms and what treatments would be best for me through their common thoughts and suggestions. It would be very useful and my first psychiatric doctor was so interested in my strong points being of use in tangible ways. He liked giving me food recipies to make, of course very healthy and kind of exotic.

balance and the physical education

answer to dailyprompt-1998

Note: possibly triggering topics

I seek balance of security and adventure. Jupiter in Libra and Moon in Sagittarius, 2nd house and 4th house. My large Pluto in Scorpio influence from 4th house exactly opposite my Taurus Midheaven. My roots. Everything is relevant to my balance in life. I remember a childhood particular physical education lesson that was very difficult experiences. I lost my balance and then right after had an accident, it was very embarrassing and the teacher follow me to wardrobe. I don’t clearly remember everything but I know it was very dark. I don’t know why I’m saying it now, I need some help honestly. I have schizoaffective and Asperger syndrome, I take medicine.

but the real lessons was safety is relative and adventure is indeed risky. The balance is an art, and we all fail sometimes. As I learn from that lessons sometimes shame is profound when we lose that balance.

thank you for listening

10 things certainly

answer to dailyprompt-1999

one: my father is my biological father (not surprised at all, we look very alike)

two: I’m maternal haplogroup W4 (again DNA-tests show my relatives and origins)

three: my new given names are Ingvild, Torunn and Synnøve. I chose them myself this year.

four: I’m a Virgo Rising/Ascendant in astrology. I’m actually a double Virgo with strong Leo placements in close conjunction with Virgo in 12th house.

five: I’m soon 32 years old. Omg I’m still young ❤

six: I prefer women even if I’m not ever in romantic relationship.

seven: I have autism spectrum condition. I’ve been diagnosed three different times by three doctors that agree.

eight: my mother is a teacher.

nine: I don’t know when the last day will be. It could be five minutes or fifty years from now.

ten: I’m writing this post to answer the dailyprompt-1999 and I was alive in 1999, began first grade that year.

thanks for reading ❤

She stays up all day, all night

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

About my mental illness conditions and lifestyle.

I’m quite certain if I don’t get to sleep soon my day will be like yesterday; up all day, up all night. It’s my phone and my scrolling and writing listening to music. Mind is going so fast through the rhythms, lyrics are alive very strong in my thinking. So I’m sleepless and a little bit too high energy. I’m not using any strong stimulants, btw.

So Ingvild stays up all day, all night. Currently.

ancestors as guests

answer to dailyprompt-1997

as I’m very deeply passionate about genealogy and family research, our family heritage and roots I would like to meet my ancestors in waking reality. One of my ancestors was a deeply conservative Lutheran Christian that form own Church and faith community. Another ancestor was of a spiritual path in healing passed from earlier generation, a feature of the diversity of Sámi culture and faith. And being very interested in my ethnic roots I would be curious where exactly my trace ancestry non-European ancestors estimate is in our history. I’m really wondering also who they were as real people living in past generations with historical events in their lifetime and how they would see our 2025 society. Both women and men from both sides of my family, I would have to ask what they would like to enjoy in food and drinks. If I could just choose something I really like it would be pasta, Swedish meat balls, grated(?) cheese (revet/raspet ost) and pasta sauce as dinner and hard (alcohol-containing) cider to enjoy along with. But that’s my preferance, so it would likely be different if it was to be real, the true meeting of minds and personality.

it would be very interesting to meet all these people around a dinner setting and hear of their stories from centuries back.

thanks for visiting ❤

lactose-free delights

answer to dailyprompt-2005

what is my go-to comfort food?

Vegan ice cream and lactose-free variants of milkshake and iced coffee.

I am lactose sensitive/intolerant due to genetics/ethnicity so I cannot have regular ice cream without lactase supplements. But one thing I enjoy as a lactose sensitive person is vegan ice cream with dark chocolate, strawberry taste. I’m not otherwise vegan but I admire the lifestyle and qualities that need respect. But that wonderful ice cream alternative is great for the many Sámi and Kven origins persons who are more often lactose sensitive/intolerant. And I love lactose-free oreo shake and the chocolate iced coffee I enjoy that is also without lactose.

these are great comfort food for me, and I stay well with following the rules of my body. I have lactase supplements that I take with any drink/meal with milk that is regular type.

I love vegan ice cream ❤

A cup of hot tea

What’s your definition of romantic?

Right now I’m drinking a cup of raspberry tea mixed with something relaxing herb mix with valerian, chamomille and other herbs. It’s delicious and strong, plus organic (økologisk) of course and no sugar added.

It’s romantic because it is so heart-warming and lovely. It also helps to relax so I would give someone this tea mix if they came to visit me in my home. I enjoy being genuinely useful to others and I really like this cup of hot tea ❤

Other romantic activities and symbols include hugs, deep conversations, comfortable clothing and blankets, raspberry anything (not only as hot tea), dreaming and a lovely hot meal like lasagne or a great pizza. I don’t have experience of true romantic relationship, but I know my own likes in other relationships and my own well-being.

Thanks for listening ❤

Usually

What time do you go to bed and wake up currently?

So most often I wake up at 5 in the morning and bedtime for sleeping at 23 in the night. Lately my sleep has been often at strange times in late morning or afternoon, but I like the summer time fun we get to have being awake during the sunny days. The winter seasons are most of our year and the polar nights are the opposite of right now with Midnight sun and no snow on the ground.

It is a relief in summer seasons (giđđageassi, geassi, čakčageassi in eight seasons system) that we must appreciate deeply. I like feeling the sun warming my skin and my dark colour hair in the sunshine in comfortable temperatures.

Have a good late evening ❤

right temperature

Daily writing prompt
What strategies do you use to increase comfort in your daily life?

The hot tea I’m drinking must be the right temperature for drinking. Not too hot, but just perfect for a pleasant warm feeling.

the clothes are suited to my needs and the weather outside. Pretty in colourful ways and very comfortable both physical feeling and emotional well-being.

blankets made from merino wool plus the others are in year round use, there are few things as wonderful as the merino wool blanket on a very cold winter season night.

so these are some strategies I use to increase comfort in my daily life.

thanks for listening ❤

confident nature

answer to dailyprompt-1996

At least compared to my early teenage self my confident nature is stronger and I’m not so worried about being different as I used to be. Things began to change when I learn of my conditions after getting diagnosed and treated for the symptoms. I’m still in progress of the process to understanding and living well with my severe mental illness and the moderate Asperger autism spectrum diagnosis. I don’t have a mild case of it, tbh. But I’m doing quite well on medication, I’m trying to get my doctors to switch me over to one antipsychotic the quetiapine instead of two other different antipsychotics.

I also think some food and drinks get better once I reach a certain point in life. I used to hate boiled potatos in early mid childhood but then I had some really good ones so I tried again and liked it. I eat several vegetables now that I would not eat before, it helps when they are included in more spicy healthy foods.

so those are some of the things I feel like get better with age, I’m almost 32 years old so still have likely many more years to experience in future. We never know the last moment will be.

Thank you for reading ❤

Rebel with a cause or two

What are you most excited about for the future?

Ingvild; the Leo rebel Queen of the Arctic. I’m very identity oriented and I like writing about it to share with others what I think and believe in. I’m a Northern Norwegian so I’m writing something about it in my native language now.

Norwegian language text;

Jeg ønsker å bli mer aktiv i samfunnet jeg er en del av og vise verden hvem jeg faktisk er. Hjelpe andre som har det vanskelig i livet, spesielt flyktninger, romfolket og innvandrere. Jeg hadde venninner med utenlandsk bakgrunn da jeg var tenåring, en var fra Uganda og en var fra irakisk Kurdistan. En annen venninne var fra Afghanistan og hun hadde så spesielt tykt hår. Jeg hadde også tykt hår, men jeg var ikke nær hennes nivå. Okay, nok om det. Jeg er også opptatt av samiske temaer i samfunnet, jeg er med i samemanntallet og kommer til å bruke stemmeretten min i valget i år samtidig som stortingsvalget. Jeg er lidenskapelig opptatt av politiske temaer og menneskerettigheter generelt i globalt perspektiv. Alle kan gjøre noe som hjelper andre å forstå ulike livssyn og å utvikle empati med vanskeligstilte grupper i samfunnet.

English translation mostly from Google translate;

I want to become more active in the society I am a part of and show the world who I really am. Helping others who are having a hard time in life, especially refugees, Roma and immigrants. I had friends with a foreign background when I was a teenager, one was from Uganda and one was from Iraqi Kurdistan. Another friend was from Afghanistan and she had such particularly thick hair. I also had thick hair, but I was nowhere near her level. Okay, enough about that. I am also concerned with Sami issues in society, I am a member of ‘samemanntallet’ and will exercise my right to vote in the elections this year at the same time as the universal Norwegian ‘stortingsvalget’ (for adult Norwegian citizens). I am passionate about political themes and human rights in general from a global perspective. Everyone can do something that helps others understand different views of life and to develop empathy with disadvantaged groups in society.

I hope your days are good, and thanks for reading ❤

Grilled sandwich

Which food, when you eat it, instantly transports you to childhood?

My grandmother is really good with making this delicious food for me every time she has opportunity to give it to me or other visitors. I used to eat more often this type of meals and it throws me back to teenage years and my late childhood. The bread, cheese and salami are perfect made and wonderful. Crisp and warm, the right texture of it.

So this is one food that transport me back to young years. I’m going to miss my grandmother so much when the days are gone.

I hope you enjoy the food and drinks that strong takes you back in time emotional, sensory and mental. And writing about this made me crave some grilled sandwich. Thanks for reading ❤