Category: Uncategorised

I look at the World through the perspective of everything being part of the core, we are all part of the unity of our universal energy. In practice this means I can relate to atheist and Christians in similar ways, the atheist can have deep values that is equal to organized religion and spiritual ways of belief in this life. I value our natural environments a lot.

In my own life I go to funerals and weddings at Christian church and my best friends in youth were most often either Muslim or Christian faith. I’ve written about our family history in religion and spirituality, it might be of interest to read this if it ignite insight or contemplation.

So that’s something about me and my practice in terms of religion. I hope you find your Light within you.

Thank you for visiting ❤

Daily writing prompt

If you had to change your name, what would your new name be?

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I just a week ago changed my name, it’s three first/given names of Norse origin and I’m so happy for this. My new names include Ingvild, Torunn and Synnøve.

if it was my last name/surname I would choose the Finnish origin name Niemi or the Norwegian origin name Arctander. I’m very interested in genealogy and we have many last names including for example the Saami origins last names like Hætta, Gaup and Eira.

so I’ve already chosen my new name and I like that. Thank you for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

What jobs have you had?

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as I’ve written about before I don’t have regular paid work and never have. So I’m writing about my full time job of being mentally ill and my deep passion for life.

I’ve been chronically psychotic since 2005 at age 12 years old and I went many years untreated and undiagnosed. This has shaped my character in various ways, I know what it’s like feeling the inner emotional chaos of this condition.

i got on medication in December 2013 and I’m still on medication for my conditions. There is a thing in Norwegian society/working environment that closes doors for many who may strongly want a regular job but the cultures are twisted by a idealised image of social skills and interactions. I’ve written about a young man who was fully able to work through education and other qualities, but since he had AS/Asperger they didn’t employ him.

I do plenty of things outside of traditional work/Jobs. Some of them include our local Kven group and weekly trip with a psychiatry related group spend time in local natural environments and speak with each other about different topics Finnmark natives like to discuss around a campfire. I’m also a member of our close and extended family cultures, I’m so thankful for my great family ❤

so I have a full time job in many ways, despite the lack of directly related pay.

have a wonderful time living ❤

Daily writing prompt

Do you practice religion?

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my roots are deep in religion, very strong conservative Lutheran Christian culture of far-Southern Norway. My grandfather was part of this in his youth by family, but he disliked having this outside mainstream label, it was hard times for him and his brothers in the community of their faith.

on my grandmothers side were different type of Christian tradition roots in Sámi culture, healing powers inherited from past generations and these are real aspects of our family history in Northern ways.

in my own life I’m connected with religion loosely through tradition and general faith in life. Many Norwegian people are not involved with a particular faith but our spirituality is a real part of society. I had an atheist confirmation in 2008, you get the celebration elements just as strong and the true ‘rite of passage’ in some ways very similar to Christian confirmation.

I believe in the good-natured Spirit as I’ve said earlier, it is deep within me to be alone with my inner life in focus. Introspective and passionate about doing good in the World, especially for the many underdogs and downtrodden among us.

I think it’s a part of my political themes as well, I’m interested in deep level actions for all people human rights and care for the forest environment and natural habitat of animals. I’m an anarchist and also on the autism spectrum, I see the world there outside through eyes and ears as well as with the inner core being.

so I do practice religion in simple ways. Thanks for reading and believe in yourself, you know the truth deep within you.

Off-topic slightly

I remember the beginning of Internett. I remember being outside playing and explore my local environment alone or with friends and family members. I recall my grandmothers farm and all the collies they had. The forests and mountains and the fjords of my different places growing up.

And those good memories are priceless and truly prescious to experience, including today with my digital life being so much a part of my current life.

But during these years there was also a lot of adversity and difficulties in life, I will not lie about it in the form of denial of pain. It was worse than I know right now, in part because I don’t remember several of my school years experiences for long term memories.

And I will say it clearly: I am here now thanks to others love and my love for them. My writing is a good friend in dark times and also in the brighter days.

Daily writing prompt

How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?

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when I begin feeling exhausted by the activities I know I need time to do something else, like the few times I get tired of listening to the music on my iPod I choose to do something quite different like just texting a friend or drinking something cold I enjoy if I want later to listen again. Alcohol, energy drinks and music mix well together in my opinion at least it is so.

and the tired feeling is in common to every experience of having too much impressions of something I enjoy when I’m not in that intensity exhausted and it works to help me cope with life that I set limits on some activities when I feel it change from a positive experience to burden or annoying. (Very long sentence, I know)

English isn’t my native language and it can sometimes show in my writing, so I will apologize for any errors or some difficulty to understand what I meant by the words.

Thank you all for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Do you remember life before the internet?

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I was born during early 90s in Northern Norway and I cannot remember Internet before around age 7. And for many years the Internet was not a big part of my life, I spent my time being outside in natural environments for hours on end. I liked this way of being young, it didn’t take away my emotional life and my curious nature was strong. Once I was a teenager the Internet had gotten more interesting especially after YouTube became big. So I spent more time in front of a screen, and right now I’m most of the day watching my little device and not spend it with other people.

so I remember life before the Internet and also life before it got big part of everyday living. I need less screen time and I’m working on it now.

thanks for reading ❤

Norwegian language text

Jeg skrev dette på norsk fordi jeg må øve på å snakke om det på morsmålet og ikke skyve det fra meg så det ikke går innpå meg så mye. Men her er noe av det jeg mener folk flest ikke forstår.

To av tingene er mobbing og psykiske lidelser. Det er dette jeg skriver om akkurat nå, fra min egen erfaring og perspektiv.

Mobbingen var for det meste moderat i mitt tilfelle, jeg hadde stort sett en venn tilgjengelig for støtte og for å ha noe å se frem til på skolen. Men likevel har det påvirket meg betydelig, jeg husker ikke hva som egentlig skjedde alltid. Forresten har jeg Asperger syndrom så det var en del av det, fikk denne diagnosen/tilstanden offisielt da jeg var 17 år. Jeg har alvorlig psykisk lidelse i form av schizoaffektiv lidelse og hadde ulike typer tilstander relatert til dem.

Jeg vet ikke hvor lang denne teksten blir til slutt, bare skriver det jeg føler er viktig akkurat nå. Jeg liker ikke å snakke om det. Jeg unngår temaet i samtaler med folk enten det er familien, venner eller (spesielt) helsepersonell. Så noen ganger er denne bloggen nyttig å beskrive hvordan jeg hadde det da og hvordan jeg har kommet hit jeg er for øyeblikket. Akkurat nå for tiden er jeg grensepsykotisk (border psychosis) og grubler mye over livet mitt. Tiden går fort og jeg lever et tilbaketrukket liv, jeg håper inderlig at jeg klarer å være mer sosial med venner og familie nå. Jeg er i gang med små tiltak for å tilbringe tid med andre mennesker i større grad. Så det er bra.

Takk for at dere leser, og jeg håper dere har en god mandag videre ❤

It’s one of my lucky traits to have a good memory for names, birthdays and the details in our recent conversations. It’s a very useful strenght in daily living. People like being seen for who they are, that someone cares about their unique qualities.

As I mention on my other blog I believe I’m good at writing in my particular style of expressions. I share my world with the online community I’m involved, especially on my blogs I share a lot of thoughts and music videos.

I’m naturally good at learning new languages, especially I’ve had education in Finnish and North Saami and I listen outside of the lessons to hear the way the native speakers expressions and cultural features. Some media I’ve found very useful in this way include watching Ođđasat, the news related to Sámi topics and other shows of different kinds. I remember a youth program from 2009/2010 that really helps people like me to learn about Saami sense of humor.

Thank you for reading my blog ❤

Being a psychiatric patient is a real reason to seek help from therapy. I’m right now struggle with my memories and border psychosis and I need help, the thing keeping me from getting it is how I don’t like talking about my fears and vulnerable state with offline people even (maybe especially) health-care workers. It’s easier open up here despite not always safe tbh it scares me thinking about this fact of life.

And I also know from own experiences that Aspergian people are regard as more difficult to treat with psychotherapy, and this is another reason I don’t want to talk in-depth about these issues. I’m trying to help my mind to heal without really healing the inner Darkness of my difficult times in childhood/youth years.

But another way to look at it is I’m still opening up to people and this might actually help me long-term in healing on deep level within.

Oh, I love the black jeans of any kind and I have at least three different of them in my current basic clothing collection. They are perfect for me and have been since my early teen years during mid-late 2000s fashion, I wore them to school especially. They also helped me emotionally and hide the necessary protective things quite well from the watchful eyes of other people, including at school. (I’ve written about the events at school described on earlier posts on my blog).

Sometimes the mean girl tormentors/other type bullies noticed it and made threats to post photos of me wearing the things on a particular early type social media that was part of the teen culture at the time. I don’t think they actually did post them however. And I’m just much more thankful for the aid than the fear of them occationally notice it.

I’m sorry about this kind of off-topic subjects to this question, sometimes I remember things and feel like writing about it. I’m autistic, btw

I’m very lucky with living in a safe country, Norway in my opinion is a beautiful place and I live in the Arctic North region; we have the sun above the horizon for over a month in summer season and it’s a useful feature sometimes even when it can affect sleep. I’m happy it’s now soon summer time and our nice holiday of Midsummer (Sankthans) in late June. Midnight sun ❤

Thank you for reading my blog and I hope your days are good ❤

I enjoy an iced tea right now, it’s isTe which is a Norwegian type of beverages that you can find in any local store in all of Norway. I also very loved the particular iced tea in a cafe in one of my previous home towns in the 2000s.

Tea is an important part of everyday life for me, I have a large tea collection in my living room in a bookshelf type placement. I need a bookshelf to keep my tea in good order and find the unique type easily by sight. Hot tea really helps during the cold weather months here in Arctic North region, down to -30 degrees celsius at some days.

But the feeling of having it all is to love life as it is when the basic needs are met and to aim for keeping this feeling alive, it happens to be a lot easier than I used to believe in earlier times. I’m nearly 32 years old btw. I’ve written about this before and I truly am of this opinion that life is good at the core, I’ve experienced some quite significant adversity in childhood and youth. But it’s always good to be thankful of what’s good in life currently, I feel blessed to be alive even with my severe mental-health conditions and the Asperger syndrome diagnosis at my late teenage years.

Thank you everyone for listening ❤

Note: psychiatry related and possibly unusual answer to question.

I want to have deep conversations with the shadow side of my mind, not ignore the Light that comes from communication with the unknown aspects of the inner world. If you know me from before it’s clear that I’m very familiar with both the inner Darkness of my mental illness and our Arctic location being in total darkness during December month as well as my home environment being much darker than average due to several reasons to do with my conditions and traits. One is my PHC/TAC and migraines plus other neurological conditions.

I also am very interested in how other minds work and what other people feel about their inner world and place in society. I’m Aspergian/autistic and I’m not afraid of most people, after getting treatments for my psychiatric conditions I feel less intensity of the schizoaffective symptoms and other conditions. Honest I’m still somewhat ill, not cured; but I feel and act quite different from when I’m severely psychotic and strong manic depressive.

Thanks for listening ❤ ❤

I’ve recently altered my offline official name to feel more in harmony with my inner feeling, I am a woman and I chose to have three given names and leave my last name/surname unaltered. So at this moment I mostly feel free and happy with taking this risk and doing what I felt was right. It was very easy changes, fill out a small online form with safe log in and other features of Norwegian systems. I did this a couple of days ago and have told several people of my new names, it’s interesting as well for me due to my blogs and writing about these topics several times before this event. Everything got more intense and unexpected reactions to my earlier posts about my history. Btw one of my names is Torunn and it’s of Norse origin meaning ‘loved by Thor’ which happens to be a close male relatives name and our family has strong tradition of Norse origin given names. I’m from Northern Norway and of mixed culture like many others here; but with more strong far-Southern Scandinavian history from regions like Agder, Rogaland county in Norway and Scania in Sweden as well as the far-Northern ethnicities like the indigenous Sámi people and strongly Kven/Finnish groups native to the region.

Thank you all for reading my blogs ❤

The good thing about this improvement is that I’m already in the process of realisere it right now, so it’s just a question of effort to maintain good habits 😊👌

I’m going on outdoor events at least weekly and that also I’m more conscious of my screen time.

Daily writing prompt

Who would you like to talk to soon?

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I would like to have a deep conversation with someone similar to me, like maybe a fellow Aspergian/Aspie/AS patient with different life experiences we could discuss and contemplate deeply in the settings of our common diagnosis, our shared experiences and also how we are unique and part of something greater than just ourselves in isolation.

It’s my identity and the items expressions of my views and experiences in life.

As an example, I have a fashion variant of a powerful symbol of interest to many people. I’m openly far-left anarchist and I don’t hide my political ideology on my blogs. It’s dark green in colour and in cotton fabric, I wore it frequently in my teenage years and it was an item of pride and compassion shown together a beautiful piece of fashion with deep meaning to me. It’s for the environment, our planet Earth. Human rights for all people. My passion for life.

I have secret wish to be perfect and very obsessive about my appearance, I have a history of restrictive eating disorder and I’m diagnosed with Asperger syndrome and schizoaffective condition as my main conditions in psychiatry.

I have secret beliefs of different kinds, I keep them inside to avoid rejection and to ruin the feeling within of my compassion and genuine nature.

And secret love, the unrequited love I feel inside. Btw that’s also a dubstep track I have on my iPod. I am actually lesbian mostly, I just know my true direction inside and so it’s no partner involved in my life.

Thank you for reading ❤

This person is someone I know like myself. Because it truly is just that; me. I get advice sometimes to do the right thing and be honest with my core being about life. So one of the aspects reminded is to speak from the heart, straight from the core inner being. Not making it pretty and non-controversial to get people to like someone I’m actually not from within. To be honest with myself about this life, what I truly want to do when I’m alone or with others.

Get more natural sunshine and still take my necessary D-vitamin supplements along, getting a bonus sun tan as well ❤

My mother and father are apart, we were all living together before 95 when it ended. my father has addiction and he had very difficult childhood and youth history, severe bullying and xenophobic treatments along with untreated mental-health conditions, undiagnosed dyslexia etc. I don’t know him and I’ve only met him three times as a teenager, I have spoken with him on the phone in more recent years. He did DNA-test to show our ancestry and genetic relatives, this is the best gift I’ve gotten from him actually, my life would not be without him and his genetics. My grandmother also took DNA-tests and I really care about my fathers side a lot even if we have spent most time apart, not in contact.

my mother is my closest family and she has a son my half-brother and he has two girls; my half-nieces both are my absolute favourite because of who they are. My grandfather died in the late 2000s at only 68 and my grandmother is now 83 years old and I love her as much as anyone loves a great matriarch teacher with a big heart for wild birds and squirrels along with cats and six great-grandchildren. Can you tell I love all of them so much?

I hope you feel safe, it’s so important to be connected with a network like family or other close relationship even if not closely genetically related with. Thank you for reading ❤

I believe in the good-natured Spirit, it’s the force that keeps my world together in a connected way through difficult times. I’m convinced the good-natured Spirit wants everyone to feel loved by it’s presence in our lives. I believe the good-natured Spirit chose to guide me here, my new given names today became official after I made this choice in the morning. I’ve thought a long time about this topic and today is a new beginning in this life. This is actually true, I sent in the form online and now my name is changed. I identify with my new names and they matter to me as part of my identity.

My legacy in particular might be my written works of my perspective on life and my particular experiences being autistic and of Sámi ethnicity in Northern Norway. But most of all I want people to know the good-natured Spirit is there any time for them.

You are cared for by someone and give from the heart of your core being. The good-natured Spirit is there to guide you through hard times.

Thank you all for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Do you have any collections?

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Good morning, evening and night! I have a wonderful tea collection in my home and I’m deeply passionate about tea in general. I like a lot of different types of tea, from Darjeeling to oolong to Earl Grey and white tea and also herbal types like hibiscus, strawberry, ginger and lavender tea. I say it’s a collection because it truly is a living project and I don’t have just 5 boxes i have a bookshelf full of different tea boxes!

I have collection of several different types like my blankets and my many boots and not forget the digital collections, I have a deep interest in genealogy research and our family culture.

Thank you for visiting, good-natured people ❤

Daily writing prompt

Who would you like to talk to soon?

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well, not everyone on Earth exactly but my family members and close friends. I need to tell them of my new official names it’s so strange how fast it happened after the fact I sent in the things. I need new passport, new ID and I honestly need an oxazepam (benzo) as well.

I live in Arctic regions and the winter here is quite long and sometimes very cold like minus 30 degrees celsius some days. The other aspect is the amount of snow and winds, some other places close to our town things like the roofs blow off building during these storms. The roads on mountain passes are often closed during winter time it’s really affects our health-care systems and transportation in general, we have no hospital in our town so it’s either the big city Tromsø or our smaller rival town that I happen to love visiting btw. But we really need a true hospital here, honestly.

But my main point is how I deal with cold environment versus heat. I’m like a radiator according to many people, and I feel relief when I feel cold air again after being inside a for me too warm room. minus 20 degrees celsius outside feels comfortable in these settings.

During our summer season I start to feel uncomfortable at around 22° celsius and when it reach 30° celsius I feel exhausted and drowsy along with other symptoms. I know many don’t think that’s very warm, but I feel it strong. How I cope is to drink plenty cold drinks and seek to cool down inside as well. I like summer season a lot just normal temperature for my liking is from 10 to 20 degrees mostly.

No matter where we live there are good things about our climate and natural environment, I love my region and I’m happy for all we have. Thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

What does “having it all” mean to you? Is it attainable?

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when you have your basic needs met there is nothing stopping you from having enough, like you already know it. Having everything doesn’t need to be more complex than having these basic needs met. So it’s attainable in my opinion and perspective.

thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever broken a bone?

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short answer; no

off-topic answer; fell backwards on outside thin layer of ice stairs and huge painful bruises for many weeks after

Enjoy the music ❤

Daily writing prompt

What is the legacy you want to leave behind?

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I want to write this book to bring to light what is currently very dark, the past of our indigenous cultures being under forced assimilation policies and discrimination of sometimes violent nature. And my own story about my roots and experiences in life. And I intend to actually make that dream a reality maybe even quite soon.

Daily writing prompt

How do you feel about cold weather?

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being Northern ethnicity and living in Arctic location it’s long winters some in all-day twilight/darkness no sunrise, no sunshine at all for over one month. But back to the actual topics it gets really cold in December and January often minus 20 degrees celsius or down to minus 30 degrees several times. But I’m a unusually warm person any season so I’m usually not affected by cold, I feel relief going outside from too warm environment in stores and pharmacy place, minus 20 is comfortable compared to the few times in summer when plus 30°C. I also really enjoy cold drinks even in cold days, I really want/crave a combination of Bacardi and Red Bull now, but I still have my pink colour Monster to enjoy.

thank you for reading and chill like you feel is right ❤ ❤

Daily writing prompt

How do you balance work and home life?

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I’m not taking my sleeping pills tonight I’m trying to get tired but I keep writing blogs instead of sleeping, okay so on to the answer;

my life isn’t divided clearly into work and home life as I’m disabled by medical conditions and don’t have a lot of advanced education to have work as well, so my kind of work is different from many perspectives. This blog is kind of like a work thing to me and I’m not lazy at all I enjoy getting passionate about work tasks and being active with a meaning to the have nots in society, my potential is often somewhat underestimated by some due to my conditions but I’m not useless and I know it’s prejudice based on my diagnoses.

I wish to be useful as a true Virgo sign influenced person and my Leo pride wants to be good, noble and successful in my activities.

Moses in the Sky

(sorry I could not help writing the Norwenglish phrases, it’s an inside things not Norwegian people get it even, I am of true schizophrenic mind after all)

Thank you for visiting ❤

Daily writing prompt

Who would you like to talk to soon?

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I’m looking forward to spend more time with my friend I’ve known now for ten years, she is a psychiatric nurse and we got along very well from beginning she is the close relation to friendships outside of family members. We are somewhat apart in generations, her gen X versus me Millenial, she is so good-natured and funny as well as very interesting speaking with. I’m so happy to know her ❤

short answer is; no

off-topic answer is; I’ve had plenty of minor procedures in both my lower limbs over the years and was limited by the conditions and the surgery itself is very challenging to cope with after the procedures, mostly open wounds and hypergranulation, other possible complications like nerve pains in legs.

thank you for the time, and I apologize for my strangeness in writing this answer ❤

Oh, school.

It wasn’t like they try tell you it is, it’s hardcore from the start for some of us it’s hellish and unsafe. I have written about it before and I’ve written about my fathers very difficult experiences as well, he really was treated like being nothing worth. In both of us it involved significant bullying and we both had enuresis conditions, I frequently wet myself in class and almost every night I wet the bed. It’s a sensitive topic, especially in my fathers case.

Btw I’m not trying to be bitter or anything it’s my way of writing and expressions of my inner world can be confusing and a little twisted also. I’m autistic and don’t understand well how my words are taken to mean in other minds.

But yeah, school in many ways was a sacrifice and in addition was sacrificed to move on in life in other areas.

I’m okay now, or at least that’s what I tell my mind to believe. Thank you for reading my blog today and greetings from Norway on our special day ❤ 🇧🇻❤️🤩

I have a half-aunt who is 18 years older than me, she is (one of, his mothers daughter) his younger half-sister and she has a Norse origin name just like my father and their mother. I know her from my childhood years, she has three children; one son slightly younger than me that I’ve met several times in my youth and know a little, and two (much younger) daughters. The older girl has Asperger syndrome kind of similar to me, the younger girl is turning 10 years this year (btw I’m turning 32 years this late summer). Okay so my aunt lives further South in Oslo region but is Northern in background living in Finnmark and Troms in childhood and teenage years.

Why I mention her is that she is unique among my relatives to know my fathers history from own experience and know his way of being. Unfortunately we don’t have contact after I moved further North in late 2000s at age 16 I’ve text some times after my grandmother told me I could ask her some questions. She has very long hair and brown eyes.

I have an iPod that’s the oldest electronic device I own and I care for it dear it’s my entire memories of lost music and feelings of pure joy and deep sorrow. Hardstyle tracks that can be a type of interpretation about voice-hearing of all topics relevant it’s a huge part I’m in psychosis and my insight is very good but still I’m manic and delusional and somewhat paranoid about everything related to my blogs and other parts of life, we must fight for justice and stand for something important.

Okay so back to iPod; it’s an iPod touch from 2012 from my memory right now, I have a lot of music on this device and I’m so lucky it still function very well it’s so great on trips to listen on earbuds to something magical and I say this honestly it helps with distraction from cruel voices in my ear region (like just outside ear or within that region of head, they sound real to me no matter the location inside/outside).

So my point is music and this electronic device is something that save my days in difficult times and lift my mood on good days as well as painful.

Thank you for listening and I will listen to some dubstep now, getting through this difficult part of living with schizoaffective condition. Wonderful evening and tomorrow is 17th of May 🇧🇻❤️

dailyprompt-1946

I have many different blankets, some are merino wool and others are synthetic and I enjoy all of them so much. I’m the type of person that needs to feel physically comfortable to deal with life in a better way, my mental-health conditions can make me prone to anxiety and pain. I also have severe physical pain conditions like paroxysmal hemicrania (a cluster headache-like condition) and a likely case of endometriosis so I use pain medication along with these blankets to feel less disabling severe pain and a way to treat my emotional symptoms of pain as well.

I use my different blankets every day and they are very useful in this way, nothing like a cup of hot calming tea and a couple of blankets to soothe the anxiety-related symptoms of my schizoaffective condition without taking more medications. I have no regrets in this part of life, I’m not afraid to admit to taking medication or focusing on my physical feelings of being safe and serene.

Thank you for visiting ❤

So I’m both, but generally I lead when it comes to independence and my opinions, I follow when that’s a good choice or if I’m really lost I lean on others guide us through the storm. I’m a Leo/Virgo/Sagittarius in astrology and my fire element placements are in 4th and 12th houses in water-themed astrological topics like emotions, home, imagination, dreaming etc.

My Virgo Rising influence makes me willing to be of service to my environment, it makes me feel better when I have some type of work, no matter how small. I really like astrology and I find it useful to sort out my life and human nature, being autistic it’s not always so easy getting the message clearly without a system like astrology or medical diagnosis to understand it.

Thanks for reading ❤