Category: music

Lunar Scorpio, fear no more

What’s the trait you value most about yourself?

My most valued trait in my life is the meaning in combination of being a Lunar Scorpio, with Moon-Pluto combination in Scorpio within 4th house. I’m quite intense emotionally and I don’t like surface things, I dive into the depths of my subconscious self, and of my ancestors adversity.

And with my Moon-Pluto combination in Scorpio (I’m a early 1990s type, it matters to Scorpio sign individuals in our generation) I’m basically not afraid of anything other than my mental illness and abusive type people, the worst memories.

I’m human and I’ve gone through difficult times in life, including being target of childhood abuse and significant bullying. My ancestors were of minority groups and it affects us even if it’s not conscious in the mind, but in my life it’s deeply rooted awareness. Btw, I sit in complete darkness writing this now. My dreams are very vivid and immersive, sometimes quite depraved but often insightful in theme after waking.

I don’t fear heights and I’m definitively not afraid of my body, I can watch surgery and medical procedures without being negatively affected. I see it, but I’m not fearful. It’s honestly a gift from the inner world, I was born this way and been learning through experience as well.

Arkaine – Fear No More (hardstyle genre EDM)

I seek truth in my life, even if it can hurt me I still value the real experience with all the aspects in it, darkness and Light. I’m a double Virgo, or a double Leo in some systems. But the Sun and other placements are in 12th house, so the dream world is very active as well as writing from the shadows. I need music and creative expression to function in life, in society as a whole.

So I’m thankful for my depths and intensity, even if it shock others and it’s hard to handle at times. Thank you mother Earth for this hidden blessing.

I hope your nights are good ❤

Music is my leader

Do you see yourself as a leader?

Tea, a smartphone and music. My day is a relief now, it’s been a lot this week in offline living. Good and I’m tired, not too sad for enjoying music. Including the sadness and pain.

Headlock

Hide and Seek

emotional experience

standing in the rain playing in the background. I love many Billy Talent songs from youth ❤

emo kid with the heavy eyeliner and I also love hoodies still. They bullied me and poured orange juice on my jeans, then told the teachers I had peed on myself. It was worse because I often actually had wet in my jeans in class or during recess, I also had nocturnal enuresis/chronic bedwetting even at age 16. I had other issues with the function of the body. I wore type protective underwear during my heavy womanhood curse and was prescribed this aid from pharmacy like place. The protection works well, I use it still during my womanhood curse and especially at night. I need to write about this sometimes because it does affected my mental health strong.

I was an emo kid but didn’t self-harm with sharp things. I beat myself with glass bottles of Coca-Cola along with plastic bottles, had big bruises I was try hiding from everyone. I had the emo bangs and my hair was it’s own dark brown colour. I listening to MCR and The Used as well as other type emo musicians.

I’m suffering from psychosis and voice-hearing is part of my everyday life. They say very abusive things to me, reminding me of shameful times and emotional pain. They say strange things like ‘she is going to have major accidents in public’, in local grocery store. I’m a psychiatric patient and I’m an Aspie, that is I have Asperger syndrome. I must sometimes write because it actually helps me deal with my mental illness and the vivid memories of childhood adversity and bullying.

I need the medicine

yes, this is kind of random and I’m taking my medications of course. Just not really on time which gives me symptoms of pain.

I’m so sick by Flyleaf

Pain by Jimmy Eat World

billy talent – Nothing to lose

a bootleg version of Borgeous – Invincible

billy talent- Standing in the rain

other bootleg of Borgeous – Invincible

billy talent- River Below

Three Days Grace – Animal

Three Days Grace – I hate everything about you

Bullet for my Valentine – All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)

Dubstep, indeed

What is your favorite genre of music?

People are sometimes surprised by my favourite music genres because I’m different from the expected type of person listening and enjoying this music. I really like dubstep and I have since my late teenage years been listening to the bassline and drops, the hybrid genres also.

‘Fall Silently’ by Ephixa is one of my favourite tracks in hybrid of hardstyle and dubstep.

‘Blossom’ by Au5

‘Blue’ by Au5 & Fractal

Thanks for listening and enjoy life ❤

Synnøve likes her metal pitch black (and heavy)

note: I’m not certain of copyright or similar regulations. I want to follow the rules for music and I found on YouTube.

here are example of black metal from 2024

and black metal from 2023

This crazy track by Biotronix

I have three given names; Ingvild, Synnøve and Torunn. I use all my names on blog but don’t always use the whole name because it’s makes longer sentence than necessary.

(Yandere by Biotronix and Kitty Chan)