Čakča (II)

Black Hole Sun
Iced tea, iced coffee; lactose-free
Snow falling, deep snow threading in
I do know who I really am, right? Fathers day tomorrow, not random
It made perfect sense,
Quite quiet quetiapine question
Why so sad, Ingvild?
Huh?! No idea, I’m so happy really!
Yeah, it didn’t click like that
But still I hear
Lyrics like;
‘All the things she said, running through my head’
‘Determined and strong, in it’s pride and glory’
Loved it all, and still do

Music is my leader

Do you see yourself as a leader?

Tea, a smartphone and music. My day is a relief now, it’s been a lot this week in offline living. Good and I’m tired, not too sad for enjoying music. Including the sadness and pain.

Headlock

Hide and Seek

I always keep a bottle near (part II)

How do you plan your goals?

Note: I go into details about different topics. And I have chosen the pictures with deliberate action.

Yeah, I’m a summer season alcoholic since around year 2019. I’m binge-drinking alone listening to my favourite music on my good quality sound system or just with earphones on my old iPod touch, I like cider and alcopop (rusbrus) plus raspberry flavour rum and mild taste blueberry vodka. I call myself a ‘Razzpergian’ because I love Bacardi Razz and I have Asperger syndrome.

I plan my goals in management ways, I break down what I do in several pieces. I get these plans working together with family and mental health support network including psychiatric doctor and specialised nurse. I have written down plan with what actions to take in mental illness worsening.

So these are a few ways how I get things done and plan for future, coping with my mental illness. And my alcohol use.. could be less, and will be less!

Thank you for listening ❤

emotional experience

standing in the rain playing in the background. I love many Billy Talent songs from youth ❤

emo kid with the heavy eyeliner and I also love hoodies still. They bullied me and poured orange juice on my jeans, then told the teachers I had peed on myself. It was worse because I often actually had wet in my jeans in class or during recess, I also had nocturnal enuresis/chronic bedwetting even at age 16. I had other issues with the function of the body. I wore type protective underwear during my heavy womanhood curse and was prescribed this aid from pharmacy like place. The protection works well, I use it still during my womanhood curse and especially at night. I need to write about this sometimes because it does affected my mental health strong.

I was an emo kid but didn’t self-harm with sharp things. I beat myself with glass bottles of Coca-Cola along with plastic bottles, had big bruises I was try hiding from everyone. I had the emo bangs and my hair was it’s own dark brown colour. I listening to MCR and The Used as well as other type emo musicians.

I’m suffering from psychosis and voice-hearing is part of my everyday life. They say very abusive things to me, reminding me of shameful times and emotional pain. They say strange things like ‘she is going to have major accidents in public’, in local grocery store. I’m a psychiatric patient and I’m an Aspie, that is I have Asperger syndrome. I must sometimes write because it actually helps me deal with my mental illness and the vivid memories of childhood adversity and bullying.

I need the medicine

yes, this is kind of random and I’m taking my medications of course. Just not really on time which gives me symptoms of pain.

I’m so sick by Flyleaf

Pain by Jimmy Eat World

billy talent – Nothing to lose

a bootleg version of Borgeous – Invincible

billy talent- Standing in the rain

other bootleg of Borgeous – Invincible

billy talent- River Below

Three Days Grace – Animal

Three Days Grace – I hate everything about you

Bullet for my Valentine – All These Things I Hate (Revolve Around Me)

Synnøve likes her metal pitch black (and heavy)

note: I’m not certain of copyright or similar regulations. I want to follow the rules for music and I found on YouTube.

here are example of black metal from 2024

and black metal from 2023

This crazy track by Biotronix

I have three given names; Ingvild, Synnøve and Torunn. I use all my names on blog but don’t always use the whole name because it’s makes longer sentence than necessary.

(Yandere by Biotronix and Kitty Chan)