We have a complex relation, I have much compassion with his struggles and his inner strenghts. But in some ways you could say we all have choices in life, and he made some unfortunate ones in his young adulthood that prevented him knowing me and being my true father image. So what I’m really relating to is only a self-created impression from my own experience and perspective, I don’t actually understand him as he really is. He has at least 4 planets in Pisces and it shows in his life experience and way of speaking. I also watched the 1975 TV series named ‘Benoni og Rosa’ recently to understand his childhood adversity and the severe bullying he experienced in 1970s and 1980s Northern Norwegian society. He is of Sámi origins significantly and the kids called him ‘Lapp’ constantly, he didn’t know of his true Sámi roots until 2008 when I research his biological father history and genealogy. He is clearly over 25% Sámi or Finnish according to DNA-testing and his overall appearance match this as well, dark and coarse hair, high/prominent cheekbones plus almond-like shape to his eyes. I look more like him than I do with my mother in many ways. I wish he didn’t have the substance use addictions and his issues with rage, he has a tendency to play with others mind and emotions I know sadly from own experience in teenage years.
And I hope his Christmas and New Years will bring him more joy than pain.
Thanks for reading this post ❤
cloudB 