She is my favourite historical figure for her work in LGBT rights and acceptance, influenced the Norwegian law of homosexuality being illegal being removed and classify being lesbian or gay as a mental illness/psychiatry related themes. I’m very thankful to activists like her for their passion and brave nature in sometimes even dangerous situation. Thank you, late Kim Friele for the society being paved in good direction for LGBT persons in Norway and other countries.
I’ve written in general about my crush on different people through childhood and youth. But here are my first stories;
the boys name was beginning with M, he was an outsider and he had dark har like myself. I believe I was 11 years old then. I could not stop thinking about him and I felt drawn to him in ways unknown before. In the end I dared to ask him if we could be together because my friend told me to do it. He said no but in a kind and surprised way. I genuinely believe he didn’t expect to be a target of someone interest. I found out later that we shared the conditions of nocturnal enuresis, bedwetting girl meeting bedwetting boy. I hope he found someone in the end, a person he liked who wanted him as more than a friend.
the girl was one of the high-status members of our class, a thin blonde girl with very long hair. It really was strange how I was knowing my preferred direction in this stage, but I believe it was a sign to my self from this young teenage times that I was different. But I was fascinated by her unusually thin features and her very long blonde hair. She was different but popular, something I honestly also wanted to be, a person people look at with interest. I recently found out she is now a doctor, she was very intelligent and a good girl with school work and social interactions.
i believe the crushes were about more than the features they had, it was about my own place in the social hierarchy and who I wanted to be in our youth environment.
thank you for reading this, I hope it was okay to hear my story of crushes. I wish you a good day today ❤
I enjoy the spring-summer. Because the grass comes alive, the trees have green leaves and snow on ground has gone away.
Geassi;
I enjoy the slightly warmer temperature outside, if it stays at around 22 degrees celsius plus the Midnight sun provide free D-vitamin from the sunrays. I like wearing light clothing sometimes, i have sleeveless hoodies for some type of warmer summer days. And plenty of cold beverages ❤
Čakčageassi and Čakča;
My own birth season, it’s getting darker during nights and I can wear regular hoodies when it’s average outside. I enjoy the new start of autumn/fall which I also quite like, I can stay up to the evening by drinking slightly more cans of energy drinks in the ‘høstmørket’ as it called here.
I really enjoy every season including our very long winters (Čakčadálvi, Dálvi, Giđđadálvi) including the polar night darkness of December and our super cold temperatures in especially December and January. I love my Amundsen boots (Sami boots) I got earlier this year ❤
Not giving up on life, the fire inside. I’m strongly of fire element in astrology features, mostly Leo and Sagittarius and I’m a type physically warm person. My cousin call me radiator for my heat in even very cold weather. But there is more to this than being warm, I’m passionate about life and the dream world partly related to my 12th house placements in Leo sign and the Sagittarius Moon in 4th house as well. I really enjoy writing about astrology, including my own chart features.
I’m a type of activist in human rights and it’s a part of my everyday life, I don’t go a day without my passions and I also go on demonstrations in our town when the themes are my political/social causes. I’m very thankful for my foreign friends in childhood and youth years and I value the people coming to our country to be safe. I care about the struggles of non-European origins persons in Norwegian society, the diversity and the culture in true compassion of immigrants and refugees. I don’t at all like right-wing comments on foreign influences in Norway, it’s actually sickness of thought and actions.
I want people to know of my Light within, what I value most in others and also my own shared values with others.
Thank you for reading, and love the people of every origins living in our global world ❤
really I’m mostly lesbian but I had crush on some boys at age 11. I liked R, M and M. I’m not giving full name. One of the M’s was an outsider and I asked him if we could be together, he said no in a surprised but kind way. I later learn he had enuresis like myself and I hope he is doing well in adulthood. The other M was likely interested mostly in male partner and he was so physically beautiful with dark eyes and blond hair. I liked him a lot. R was my favourite and I felt drawn to him even in teenage years when I mostly look at girls.
And the girls I was wanting to know better in a different relationship were often high-status girls who were not bullies, I however could not relate really as I was an outsider and mentally unwell. Sometimes I liked girls more like myself, I believe one was an Aspie like myself. But she was somewhat younger and I was shy and with insecurity in getting to know people.
in the gym change(?) room I may look too long at the others, but I meant no harm. I was known as ‘that short weird lesbian with dark hair’ in certain groups of teens.
Some information on my background, slightly off-topic but I thought I would share;
I’m from Norway and English is not my native language, plus our Northern Norwegian culture is slightly different. The youth in the different Nordland county places I lived in youth were more Nordic looking and much taller than me, my roots are a lot of Finnmark region Sámi ancestry. Sámi persons are more often shorter like I am and in childhood I was veryshort and they bullied me, but in late childhood and my teens I grew fast to my current height at 156 centimeters.
so that’s some information abour my early crushes in tween/teenage years. Btw I’m not in a relationship and never have been. I’m soon 32 years old. Well well, so it is.
What’s the oldest thing you own that you still use daily?
I wear my wool blankets every day, even in summer time and they are very useful. I use them as cover when I’m sleeping and to keep warm when I’m feeling cold, I have a couple that really are a decade since I bought them. And I’m wearing one of them right now, its in grey and white with very cute patterns of sheep that one side white and the other side grey. I just love blankets ❤ ❤
I’ve written about the food panini before and it’s definitively a favourite among foods that throws me back in time to my youth. Warm, with cheese and with some type of salami inside the bread. I used to buy at local kiosk in a small town in Northern Norway one of the places where I grew up, but I don’t live in the same town now that I live in currently, I’m forever being a passionate Northern person in spirit. Okay so back to the panini and youth; I really like the particular type they had in this kiosk and I want to mention some beverages that transport me back in the same way. It was slightly like a heat sandwich, quite big in size.
after I got old enough I enjoy a couple of cans of alcohol-containing cider or the alcopop/rusbrus. I really still very miss the energy drinks Pure Rush that was available here in 2009 and 2010, when I was 16 years old. They were so nice in taste that even my mother liked them enough to drink.
this type of experience isn’t always completely pleasant, sometimes it actually feels like being thrown back in time with strong force. But it’s special and valued in my life to experience sometimes, life is mostly good at the core.
This is about a particular day that was special to me in June of 2016. I want to share it with you in this post, and I hope it’s possibly useful.
NOTE; MOSTLY ABOUT MY MEDICATIONS AND EFFECTS ON MOOD AND ANXIETY. PLUS INSECTS.
The first day I took an SSRI medication was very interesting. I went to a local store and didn’t feel afraid of random people and I was quite happy, with my usual dilated pupils got more intense on SSRIs. I imagine it’s different from the ADHD stimulants or illegal stimulants, but who knows. Anyway, later we were at my grandmothers house out in the garden and I wasn’t even afraid of most slightly dangerous insects even my phobia of wasp or similar insects that can cause pain. I’ve never experienced anything like this day, it was a good day and it got me after some time much more social and open in way of being.
I don’t notice my medications effects most often, they just keep me somewhat more stable. This also especially apply to my antipsychotics, but I feel like they don’t work like they used to.
Thankful for this experience on that special day, it was a big surprise to me. Thank you as well for reading my blog ❤
I was with my grandmother went to the hair salong, happy with the results and we also went to local store for shopping before the usual Saturday shopping. I bought some special type cider to enjoy. I don’t go out much so it’s special to me. The weather was very nice and just some slightly strong winds. Thanks for visiting ❤
honestly I drink too much at times and mostly that is a waste of money and time. Alcohol in particular is really expensive here in Norway. And I get mild symptoms of hang over and wanting more right after I run out of them. Shaking and other symptoms after several weeks of daily use and quit suddenly because being admitted to be in semi closed psych wards.
I would really not claim music is in any possible way a waste of time, but it can get too much. I’m good at doing things to an extreme degree. When I had worse psychosis I spent entire days listening to high energy music along with energy drinks and other beverages.
I also scroll a lot on my smartphone, including reading my own posts and pages. I know it’s often a waste of time.
The horrors of this world are rising to the extreme. Whether it’s man-created atrocity, the recent horrible disaster within of India and our environment being destroyed by our actions (and inaction), basic human rights rejection including of LGBT freedom and acceptance in society. Many other immense suffering on planet Earth.
I’m writing something later about brighter topics.
I want peace on Earth and peace of mind. My mind is going to pieces and I fear the future so strong everyone know who i am sorry rambling words I’m not crazy but I want to say this now
Psychosis is waking extremely painful nightmare to me my experiences of schizoaffective is this ambivalent and self-hatred self-harm I want you to like me bor hate why I don’t really know you why do I need likes to feel normal
Unnskyld alle sammen jeg blir innlagt snart på psykiatrisk avdeling og takk for at dere leser bloggene mine ❤
this combination throws me back to my late teenage years in Hammer party (Hammerfest really) when I had warm panini from the kiosk and when I turn 18 I loved Grevens cider along so I got tipsy feeling later slightly drunk. I know this isn’t childhood but it throws me back in time like no other food.
Some background info: I’m very passionate about astrology and the realm of dreams. I’m a 12th house Sun along with Mercury and Chiron. 4th house Moon and also 4th house Pluto in Scorpio. 6th house Saturn in Aquarius, the Uranus/Neptune conjunction in 5th house. I’m mostly Leo and Virgo from 12th house placements.
I’m very passionate about dreams and creative work related to dreams and the collective consciousness as well. My 4th house influence is of the personal subconscious, often family and roots within this part of life. I withdraw from outside world quite often and I’m sometimes too intense for other peoples comfort, I have schizoaffective disorder and Asperger syndrome as well.
I enjoy learning about my family roots and genetics also, I’ve taken DNA-tests to see the deep level connection of every person I’m related to. It’s very fascinating to me. I’m of Sámi origins significantly, live in Finnmark county but grow up in Northern parts of Nordland county mostly.
I don’t know how long text it will be, I’ll just write til it feels right. I like creative activities like writing, performing a play or fantasy drama films we did in youth school assignments/work. I’m autistic and I like being sometimes creative.
I love music of many types; mostly electronic dance music like drum&bass or metal genres like heavy metal or black metal. I love the bands like Nirvana and early Pearl Jam music. I’m soon 32 years old this year. I don’t know more what to write about now. It’s my mind in words in some ways and I like blogging a lot.
I can speak with health care workers about my psychiatric illness/disorders much easier after many difficult years. I overcome because I had to learn being open and completely honest about my mental state and emotions. It wasn’t easy, but I did it I can speak open about my voice-hearing and delusions.
What I haven’t overcome is the quite difficult experiences in my childhood and youth years. I have moderate case of Asperger syndrome and experiences of moderate bullying as well. Some other abusive events in my past. I had a condition known as nocturnal enuresis or more often called bedwetting, I really wet myself every night. I had accidents during daytime also of several types I’m sorry if this is TMI. When I turn 13 years I began wearing heavy protective underwear due to my nine days long, heavy womanhood curse and this without does make it extremely difficulties with sleep. So I wore them at night, at school during womanhood curse. I don’t know how to speak about this with other offline people, I just turn red and stuttering words.
I’m Norwegian and when I write in my native Norwegian language it’s very difficult writing even online, it’s too close to my wounds of youth and roots of shame. My name is Torunn and I wish you all well ❤
here I can pretend to be anyone, but offline people know when I’m real or lying to myself about something. But this trait is a good one, I’m very honest with my offline people I meet. If I say something nice it is real and genuinely felt. I might be good at acting, performing a role but that’s different from other areas of life. I’m not perfect in any way, I’m still doing my best.
I have an online persona and it’s real in it’s own way. But it isn’t all of me in any way. I’m more deep in my real life self, even if I share with you many things it’s not my whole being. I’m not ever intend to lie or anything like it, it’s just not really me.
so my favourite trait about me is offline honesty and genuine friendly nature.
Sweden, Finland, Denmark, Netherlands and in my own country the town Eigersund in Rogaland county. I love being tourist in my own country. I want to go to music festival or one night music events in the Netherlands. Denmark I want to hear Danish language and see cultures there in far-Southern Scandinavia plus far-Southern Sweden as well. I have deep roots in these regions from mothers side. And I’ve visited Northern Finland like Tornio in somewhat South in Torne River Valley and Pello further North.
I love Finland and Finnish cultures, language and sense of humor! ❤ ❤ ❤
Outside Europe I also want to visit Mongolia and travel along the Trans-Siberian railway. I have distant Northern Asian origins according to DNA-testing from 23andMe and MyHeritage ethnicity estimate results. But mostly Mongolia, I’m curious about the languages and cultures within the country. It sound very different from Korean words from K-pop music.
I want to visit Tunisia as well, North African origins from DNA-testing and it’s a part of what Norwegians call ‘Syden’ and plus I’ve never been out of Scandinavia and Finland ever before.
So these are some of the regions I wish to visit. Thank you so much for reading and compassion from Arctic Norway ❤
I really feel passion for genealogy and the roots of my family members and my self. I have a drive to understand the past to shape my current life, the darkness of our roots can be illuminated by introspective work and communication with others. I have history in my family of xenophobia toward our ethnic minority origins, even a actual hate crime toward one of my close relatives. Even if we are mostly white/European we look different enough to spot for abuse from racist youth. My Pluto in Scorpio is exactly opposite my Taurus Midheaven, I know dark hidden riches in my roots. One of my ancestors died from attack from an actual bear. I’m diagnosed with severe mental illness and went eight years untreated from psychosis, I have early onset schizoaffective/schizophrenia. That is another topics I’m passionate about, mental-health and psychiatric patient human rights and well-being.
I truly like this blog in my life and I hope you will appreciate something about my writing.
Jeg liker høsten/Čakča, høstvinter/Čakčadálvi og vårsommer/Giđđageassi i tillegg til de andre jeg har nevnt før. Høsten er en vakker årstid i nordnorsk natur og før snøen kommer hit er det mørkt ute på kvelden.
Naturen er viktig for meg og jeg liker å gå turer i skog og mark, fjellturer og bare gå på fortauet ute i høstmørket med kjølig temperatur i luften. De fargerike bladene om høsten. På vårsommer er det herlige tider når naturen våkner opp fra den lange vinteren, blomster langs veien og snøen er stort sett borte da.
Jeg er noe mer psykotisk på høstvinter tider men det er verdt å sette pris på alle årstider. Som jeg har nevnt tidligere liker jeg også vinter/Dálvi og sommer/høstsommer i Norge, spesielt der jeg bor nå. Og også i nordlige deler av Nordland fylke der jeg bodde mesteparten av oppveksten og tenårene.
Jeg trives med alle årstider og de åtte årstidene in samisk kultur er noe jeg setter pris på å vite om. Takk for at dere leser bloggen min ❤
English summary translated by Google translate:
I like autumn/Čakča, autumn winter/Čakčadálvi and spring summer/Giđđageassi in addition to the others I have mentioned before. Autumn is a beautiful season in northern Norwegian nature and before the snow comes here it is dark outside at night.
Nature is important to me and I enjoy going for walks in the woods and fields, mountain hikes and just walking on the sidewalk outside in the autumn darkness with a cool temperature in the air. The colourful leaves in the autumn. In spring-summer there are wonderful times when nature wakes up from the long winter, flowers along the road and the snow is mostly gone.
I am somewhat more psychotic during autumn winter times but it is worth appreciating all seasons. As I have mentioned before I also like winter/Dálvi and summer times in Norway, especially where I live now. And also in the northern parts of Nordland county where I lived most of my childhood and teenage years.
I enjoy all seasons and the eight seasons in Sami culture are something I appreciate knowing about. Thank you for reading my blog ❤
one of my favourite moments is when I found out about my Asperger syndrome in autumn 2010 after asking my mother what my condition really was. The youth psychiatry hadn’t told me what they were looking for so I had really no idea. I was reading something online and got very curious about my diagnosis, so I eventually remember my moments when other people like my classmates asking about if I had Asperger syndrome. So I felt like it made some sense and it helped me to know myself better. I was later reading about autism spectrum condition and surprised in February 2011 when my official diagnosis was classic autism and not AS. But I was later dx with Asperger syndrome in 2015 after getting on medications and after a few years on it my psychosis affected my behaviour much less.
it was one of my favourite moments because it really change my perspective on who I was and how it influenced my own experiences in life. It finally made more sense why my peers were bullying me for my childhood and youth, I thought it was mostly my ethnic background they target me for or my slightly different appearance from the Nordic kids, also my glasses and braces I had. But it was the autism really, I didn’t see it before I was diagnosed.
So it may be an unusual answer but that’s a big moment in my life. Thank you for reading ❤
‘Sweet strawberry dreams, sleep all night and day‘
There is a story to this because five years ago I slept like over the entire 24 hours without having taken any sleeping pills or other sedating drug. I went to bed slightly early in evening and when I woke up it was morning the day after I was supposed to wake up.
And as I mention in other answer I have a strong passion for vivid, movie like dreams or about my family and ethnic roots, deep stories within it. I used to have them very often, especially in 2016 when I was on other type of antipsychotics.
So that’s about my sweet strawberry dreams and sleeping all night and day.
I’m very interested in the dream world, partly because that’s where most of my life is a real and diverse experience; a reflection of my strong imagination and my 12th house placements in astrology. 12th house is the realm of dreams and the collective consciousness. And my quiet strenght is a big part of my waking reality, a part of my basic nature.
What are the most important things needed to live a good life?
Healthy food, good shelter, health and wellness. These are part of a good life. In addition I believe meaningful activities and a sense of being a part of something greater than yourself is a big aspect of a good life. Being politically active and aware of your social potential are very important to my view point. Also the different forms of genuine spirituality and psychological aspects of life really play a major role in the well-being of yourself and others.
How do you know when it’s time to unplug? What do you do to make it happen?
I’m just going to say I’m currently kind of slightly psychotic and unstable mood so what I should do is to disconnect with something calm and still rewarding interesting activity. I’m not spending these hours online writing about dark topics or rambling thoughts about my own life and I will be good and kind to myself and online people. So I do something different to make my mind calmer some way.
The title is from a Headhunterz track ‘Just say my Name’, I think it’s from year 2008. It’s hardstyle genre electronic dance music and I really like a lot of what he made in my listening time, I quit paying attention to any of the new music when I turn 23 years or so. I like mostly old music by any producer of this particular genre. I’m really talkative right now, I know.
This is about my current names;
I have three new old Norse origin given names. The first of them is Torunn which I chose as the first because it made sense putting it as first. I’m really a private person and I don’t want my offline life invaded by anyone, also truly I do not intrude upon strangers in any part of life. I respect privacy and freedom from any related force used in this part of living. Sorry I go so deep into this topic here. I value privacy and pride, fairness and true compassion also.
About the fantasy of new alternative names;
My new names would likely be Norse too, like for example Ingeborg, Borghild or Ingrid as first name and possibly a Finnish/Sámi/Kven last name like Aikio, Eira, Hætta, Wirkola or Virtanen. I could also go with Arctander if I wanted my name extremely Norwegian in meaning. It is literally north + man.
Yes, I am a Leo and also an anarchist. I’m very far-left politically, and I also believe it is nature in practice to see it like this on the deeper level behind the many layers of propaganda.
In addition to my strong Leo influence I’m very Virgo in astrology, my Rising sign and maybe my Sun sign is very early Virgo or very late Leo. My name is Torunn. I live in Northern Norway.
I’m good with writing different kinds of topics from my Aspergian way of thinking/perception. I have good insight into my conditions. I’m kind of decent at creative writing and I have a vivid imagination and sometimes quite profoundly insightful dreams. I’m a 12th house Sun, 12th house is the realm of dreams and of nightmares.
well, most often by myself in my room in the Darkness. But my family comes next and my mental-health workers together with other patients once a week. I like being social sometimes, no matter who we are it’s important interacting with others not too seldom. Btw I’m diagnosed with schizoaffective condition and Asperger syndrome so this has an influence on my social life even at home with close family members.
List three books that have had an impact on you. Why?
I’m sorry that i cannot remember the name of the books always. I was strongly psychotic without any official diagnosis or treatments with antipsychotics. But I was able to read and I loved it, being inside the novels and the story as it was in my head with my different experiences.
The Lighthouse by PD James; I was reading this book in my youth at 16 years old. I brought it to school and my favourite teacher asked me what I was reading. Jeg lånte den av bestemor og det var interessant lesing.
Another book was very scary reading and it’s well known, they made a film about the story that I was watching a few years ago. It was about a French man with extremely strong scent detection ability who later met women and killed them to make perfume.
And I must again mention Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling. It was my favourite book in childhood and youth, I’ll write about it every time someone asking me about impact of books. I remember that I could relate with Harry, Ginny and especially Myrtle Warren/Moaning Myrtle.
white chocolate with vanilla, with the patterns like Ritter Sport has. I don’t know how to describe it in English. So here is a text in Norwegian language;
Hvit sjokolade med vanilje og vanlige sjokolade-ruter som Ritter Sport og andre sjokolader, jeg antar at det er vanlig med hvit sjokolade også. Den er i små mengder og ellers nesten akkurat som den min mor bruker å kjøpe. Og selvfølgelig med veldig god smak og med tilfredsstillende kvalitet.
Quite off-topic text about me being lactose sensitive/intolerant and beverages.
I know it’s not the same ingredients used to make chocolate. I’m lactose sensitive/intolerant mostly due to my strong non-Norwegian ethnicity (of Sámi and Kven, btw). But I really enjoy it in small amounts and sometimes I take lactase pills to handle the possible lactose in it just like milk chocolate which I cannot eat much of without lactase supplements. Btw I need lactose-free form of milkshake, I really like the lactose-free oreo shake from local cafe. And the other variety of isKaffe with chocolate taste rather than regular isKaffe/iced coffee and anything other made with regular milk, I’m very grateful for these lactose-free variants that I get to enjoy.
this Geassi and Čakčageassi are two of the eight seasons of Sámi culture and I was born somewhere between Geassi/summer and Čakčageassi/autumn summer. I’m quite strongly Leo and Virgo in astrology. We are having the beginning og Midnight sun now, the sun os above the horizon for over a month so no sunset. I like the green environment and our natural features of animals living here.
You can get tan from spending time outside, I get less sun burns and easy tan comparison to most people. Since most of our year is winter we appreciate a lot the summer time, 10 degrees celsius is very comfortable when the sunshine being round noon. The best temperature for me is from 16 degree and 20 degree celsius.
flower trees and the sea of our wonderful view on top of hill(?), the pine forests and berry delights. Spend time outside in our garden sit on garden chair with some cold beverages. I like late summer a lot ❤
tbh this still bothers me in everyday life but I’m seeing improvement from how it used to affect me. I am not useless and in fact no person anywhere is useless, at least not in inner truths. I’m good enough and worthy of living.
How I overcome it is some insight partly from researching quite in-depth astrology related to my chart. I also learned from people I’ve met in life that made me see the Light within every person and meaningful insight in several parts of life.
And last, but not least I’ve gotten medical treatments for my severe mental illness and bring awareness of my autism spectrum condition that I got diagnosed with at age 17.
and my blogs are very helpful in seeing good in others, and partly to see my inner core being in the same light.
Describe one simple thing you do that brings joy to your life.
I enjoy a bottle of iced tea, especially the isTe brand you can find basically in every local store in Norway no matter if in Oslo or Kirkenes on border with North Western Russia. I love isTe like the white tea and the regular peach flavour one.
I have very fond memories of a cafe that had the best iced tea I’ve had in my time drinking tea. And the cafe had a wonderful view to outside world as well.
Note: I’ve said it before about my passion for these, but I need to say it’s a luxury that’s hard to imagine being without for me.
I love to wear hoodies every day. I have a large collection of them, my favourites in particular are definitively a luxury to me. Colourful and comfortable, and I even have a couple sleeveless hoodies for warm summer days. I enjoy them a lot and I have since my youth had many good times wearing hoodies in the rainfall and the snow we live with here.
And they were especially useful for my TTM worsening condition in 2022. It saved my social well-being and when my hair grew enough they contribute to helping me along with my SSRI. Btw that’s also one of them; my different psychiatric medications and anticonvulsants really help me function and stay well.
The luxuries don’t need to be fancy; it’s how useful and appreciated they are that matters most to me.
The music and my smartphone plus I’m getting my beverages habits return already now. It is possible to limit the degree of use and thinking twice before buying some or too many. It’s so expensive in Norway at least, I used to drink four big cans every day and I needed them in the morning waking up. Okay, so those are luxuries I cannot imagine without at least in reach of my town. I can manage without alcohol most of the year, including most of the summer if I’m thinking sense and not very psychotic state of being. I honestly need a more sedating antipsychotic to treat my schizoaffective condition, I don’t like using two different ones. Back to the quetiapine, even max dosage if my doctors think it needs to work. I hope and will work for it ❤
I remember Harry Potter and the Chamber of Secrets by JK Rowling and several other books. But this book stands out in significance to my childhood years and we also watch the movie version of it many times. It’s interesting also to me from the diary that Ginny Weasly was writing interact with Tom Riddle, the future Voldemort. I wrote a lot in my journal and being on chat websites. Like Harry Potter who heard things from the walls and later in the series heard voices relates to my own conditions of auditory hallucinations and voice-hearing. Myrtle Warren or known as Moaning Myrtle I can deeply relate with from my own experiences of being bullied and being very sensitive about topics related to that, feeling that people were against me always.
So that’s my main favourite book from childhood world and fantasy, I had a very vivid imagination that I used for creative activities like story telling, talking with adults family or other like later mental-health workers and to play with my often slightly younger friends.
i have three given names (that chose for myself) around just over a week ago. I kept my last name/surname the same as before.
If I could change my last name it would be from my deep level family research and the cultures of my ancestors carry the names. I have a direct maternal line ancestor with last name Hætta, it’s from a place just Beyond the border to Finland. It is of Sámi origins. As I’ve mentioned before I like the name Niemi as well, Finnish roots and so beautiful sounding. I considered getting my middle name from my mother, but it was long enough to feel a little bit too long even without a middle name from mother.
I need to express my mind in words, and reach out to the World Wide Web through my blogs. It’s a necessary good activity and it helps me feel useful and worth reading to others as well. I don’t write to get a large following but I like the person reading to get something interesting reading maybe.
other examples kind off-topic
Apart from this activity I talk with my close family and my main good friend either on the phone or in person, have some Earl Grey tea in most of the year or drink isTe on warmer summer days. I listen to music every day for up to five hours when I feel like it’s a good thing, I used to listen constantly when I had very severe manic depressive psychosis.
I’m an actress in some ways, I live in a role I need to play and that changes sometimes so I’m forced to be more flexible. I have Asperger syndrome moderate case and I’m surprising good at real life acting and true drama plays both. I like being someone else for a certain time/phase and I kind of forget who I really am sometimes. So I have a slightly creative side in different parts of life, I spend a lot of time writing my blogs at different times of day.
I’m not a English language native speaker. And I’m little tipsy from drinking. Sorry. I hope it’s still okay reading
I like friendships where we get the other person like they understand how you work and getting to know what they like in general, like what good conversations are for the other friend. I like deep level thoughts from different perspectives from just mine, we interact from the inner core being and that’s why it feels very special.
I don’t have many friends but I love people at the core and I’m quite friendly with strangers and people I know casually. I’m not saying it from my perspective, others have told me in their honest words. I had some best friends in childhood and youth thank goodness ❤
I remember answer this last year on other blog. I’m trying be writing about some different books now that have had impact on my life and my thoughts on why.
entire Harry Potter series; because it was a part of my youth when the books were released and we waited for next book. I think it made an impact because it’s so interesting how magic and human nature are a part of the experience. I also have deep reasons to relate to some of the characters like mentioned Harry Potter, Luna Lovegood and Myrtle Warren. I could write a lot more about why.
a book I cannot remember the name, but it was very interesting reading it in my teenage years again after last time in childhood years. It was related to some type of boarding school and hypnosis, what struck me in teenage years was the ending of the narrative with a girl with an abusive father from memories that’s what it was.
And my third is obvious from last year. But I had to mention some more; Hellemyrsfolket by Amalie Skram. It’s deep and emotional to a much more intense way than other fiction very realistic and moving. If you read them be prepared for emotions strong and deep thoughts on life and meaning. In addition I’m Norwegian and really very interested in genealogy research and history.
Those are some books that have had important impact on my life and view of this world through narrative. Thanks for reading ❤
Being kind of border psychotic I’m just going to admit this I talk to myself, or talking with my inner core being. It’s kind of strange that it’s view as crazy in schizophrenia patients but normal for the so-called sane persons.
But to get to the answer, the point; I want an honest and deep conversation with my inner core, in Darkness and in Light both. The little brunette short eight year old girl being bullied by tall Nordic looking kids, the Aspie who felt lost inside from the grip of strong paranoid delusions.
I’m not going to hide my diagnoses from the readers and I’m self aware significantly. I’m also drinking today, plenty cans of cider. Love this life no matter what they tell you ❤
I have a couple neurological conditions that can contribute strong to accidents. I have temporal lobe epilepsy and Chiari malformation type 1, a condition with many possible symptoms/signs. I had long-term nocturnal enuresis even as a teenage girl. In addition I’m diagnosed with autism spectrum and severe mental illness.
When I was a child I felt such deep shame I avoided school to escape the bullying and adversity in form of teachers who hated me. I could not focus on my work due to psychosis, anxiety and my undiagnosed Asperger making me very sensitive to the sensory aspects; especially the noise in the hallway outside classroom and the fire alarm was just helvettas/fucking painful to hear for me.
and I had often accident at school, before we got prescribed aid from pharmacy place I knew it would be hell inside my head. Classmates making cruel fun of my issues. But really when I finally got this help I could actually sleep well at night and also through the nine days of the womanhood curse, I truly needed it and the shame was much less intense inside. I must mention I’m epileptic and have Chiari type 1, and the protection helps to sleep well at night.
so in my case I mostly overcome my fears with different treatments of difficult times in youth and childhood years. Don’t be afraid of seeking help no matter the shame related to the conditions, it’s often a great relief.
I would consider the names Ingeborg or Borghild, both are Norse origin names to be related the words ‘vern/protection’ and ‘hildr/struggle’ and the god Yngvi/Freyr through ‘Ing’. I’m a proud member of this group of having Norse mythology origin names and it’s a large part of our family cultures.
In last names I consider Niemi, Arctander and Hætta as possible last name, but since I recently change my official name but kept my last name the same it’s an imagination thing.
well, that’s honestly my only and current job I’ve had. I went to school for 10 years and it wasn’t easy, mostly due to my autism spectrum condition and the severe mental illness I developed in my late childhood years. From 10 to 13 my issues became visible literally I had a bald spot on my head due to TTM a type of compulsive disorder. I also had a bulimia like state for many years and schizoaffective of course mentioned before here. I was a target of moderate bullying and experience other adversity in general. My father is a poly-drug user and an alcoholic, I don’t know him really well but we speak very rarely on phone. I’m sorry this goes on and on about my history, but this is my experiences with life. We had an assignments in school where I chose to work at the local library for a couple of days, I was psychotic but I wanted to know work environment and the library is a quiet place. It was great insight into how a library truly works behind the scenes. I’m thankful for this experience of life and I’m kind of proud I did this work despite my illness untreated and not diagnosed yet.
I look at the World through the perspective of everything being part of the core, we are all part of the unity of our universal energy. In practice this means I can relate to atheist and Christians in similar ways, the atheist can have deep values that is equal to organized religion and spiritual ways of belief in this life. I value our natural environments a lot.
In my own life I go to funerals and weddings at Christian church and my best friends in youth were most often either Muslim or Christian faith. I’ve written about our family history in religion and spirituality, it might be of interest to read this if it ignite insight or contemplation.
So that’s something about me and my practice in terms of religion. I hope you find your Light within you.
I just a week ago changed my name, it’s three first/given names of Norse origin and I’m so happy for this. My new names include Ingvild, Torunn and Synnøve.
if it was my last name/surname I would choose the Finnish origin name Niemi or the Norwegian origin name Arctander. I’m very interested in genealogy and we have many last names including for example the Saami origins last names like Hætta, Gaup and Eira.
so I’ve already chosen my new name and I like that. Thank you for reading ❤
as I’ve written about before I don’t have regular paid work and never have. So I’m writing about my full time job of being mentally ill and my deep passion for life.
I’ve been chronically psychotic since 2005 at age 12 years old and I went many years untreated and undiagnosed. This has shaped my character in various ways, I know what it’s like feeling the inner emotional chaos of this condition.
i got on medication in December 2013 and I’m still on medication for my conditions. There is a thing in Norwegian society/working environment that closes doors for many who may strongly want a regular job but the cultures are twisted by a idealised image of social skills and interactions. I’ve written about a young man who was fully able to work through education and other qualities, but since he had AS/Asperger they didn’t employ him.
I do plenty of things outside of traditional work/Jobs. Some of them include our local Kven group and weekly trip with a psychiatry related group spend time in local natural environments and speak with each other about different topics Finnmark natives like to discuss around a campfire. I’m also a member of our close and extended family cultures, I’m so thankful for my great family ❤
so I have a full time job in many ways, despite the lack of directly related pay.
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