Tag: dailyprompt-1974

Write about your first crush.

Note; this is sad. Very sad at times.

I met Emil in start of third grade. He was a good looking boy and quite popular among the other children, he was truly a good boy. He even liked me too, even though I was often quite bullied by many kids. We even met outside school environment like outside or at birthday party of him and other children.

I really really liked him a little crush on him even in fourth grade. Then I moved somewhere else living in other towns for several years. When moving back it was high school age, in 8th grade I met him again.

But he had turned to the dark side by then, very much physical attractive but quite mean-spirited. He indirectly bullied me and yet ignored me also. It hurt like hell, I was so upset that the boy Inhad known was no more.

I always wonder what turned him toward the Darkness. I wasn’t there for several years so something must have happen with him to be different in behaviour and thought.

So it’s a sad topic and a sad story of life as a teenager. I used to look up to him so much.

Thanks for reading 💔😢

I’ve written in general about my crush on different people through childhood and youth. But here are my first stories;

the boys name was beginning with M, he was an outsider and he had dark har like myself. I believe I was 11 years old then. I could not stop thinking about him and I felt drawn to him in ways unknown before. In the end I dared to ask him if we could be together because my friend told me to do it. He said no but in a kind and surprised way. I genuinely believe he didn’t expect to be a target of someone interest. I found out later that we shared the conditions of nocturnal enuresis, bedwetting girl meeting bedwetting boy. I hope he found someone in the end, a person he liked who wanted him as more than a friend.

the girl was one of the high-status members of our class, a thin blonde girl with very long hair. It really was strange how I was knowing my preferred direction in this stage, but I believe it was a sign to my self from this young teenage times that I was different. But I was fascinated by her unusually thin features and her very long blonde hair. She was different but popular, something I honestly also wanted to be, a person people look at with interest. I recently found out she is now a doctor, she was very intelligent and a good girl with school work and social interactions.

i believe the crushes were about more than the features they had, it was about my own place in the social hierarchy and who I wanted to be in our youth environment.

thank you for reading this, I hope it was okay to hear my story of crushes. I wish you a good day today ❤

answer to dailyprompt-1974

really I’m mostly lesbian but I had crush on some boys at age 11. I liked R, M and M. I’m not giving full name. One of the M’s was an outsider and I asked him if we could be together, he said no in a surprised but kind way. I later learn he had enuresis like myself and I hope he is doing well in adulthood. The other M was likely interested mostly in male partner and he was so physically beautiful with dark eyes and blond hair. I liked him a lot. R was my favourite and I felt drawn to him even in teenage years when I mostly look at girls.

And the girls I was wanting to know better in a different relationship were often high-status girls who were not bullies, I however could not relate really as I was an outsider and mentally unwell. Sometimes I liked girls more like myself, I believe one was an Aspie like myself. But she was somewhat younger and I was shy and with insecurity in getting to know people.

in the gym change(?) room I may look too long at the others, but I meant no harm. I was known as ‘that short weird lesbian with dark hair’ in certain groups of teens.

Some information on my background, slightly off-topic but I thought I would share;

I’m from Norway and English is not my native language, plus our Northern Norwegian culture is slightly different. The youth in the different Nordland county places I lived in youth were more Nordic looking and much taller than me, my roots are a lot of Finnmark region Sámi ancestry. Sámi persons are more often shorter like I am and in childhood I was very short and they bullied me, but in late childhood and my teens I grew fast to my current height at 156 centimeters.

so that’s some information abour my early crushes in tween/teenage years. Btw I’m not in a relationship and never have been. I’m soon 32 years old. Well well, so it is.

thank you for reading ❤