Tag: dailyprompt-1917

Note; not intended as complaint of my life, only the honest impression of my experiences with psychiatry and treatments for mental illness. And my passion for writing, change in perspective in psychiatry; both adult and youth type.

I got into youth psychiatry in 2007 at age 14, but I spent 6 years without real treatments, diagnosis or most importantly without any antipsychotics for psychosis after the introduction to psychiatry.

What I would have done differently would be to try push the youth psychiatry to really get more in-depth into why I came into the system in the first place. I could of course not ever be actually successful without the truly great efforts from my wonderful family, especially that of my dear mother.

So this is part if my experiences being without effective medications in the youth psychiatry settings. I began my treatments with medications at age 20 years old and I’m taking my medicine as I am supposed to. And I’m working on some type of creative writing to bring awareness to the about the role of patients in understanding mental-health conditions from different, from within, true perspectives that are valued as real.

Thank you all ❤

Det er vanskelig for meg å skrive om enkelte tema på mitt eget morsmål, det er mye lettere å skrive på engelsk om problemene jeg hadde på skolen. Men noen ganger er det nyttig å øve på å virkelig være åpen med seg selv og andre på morsmålet. Så her er en tekst jeg strevde med å få sagt.

Jeg ble mobbet mye i barneskolen og på ungdomsskolen, jeg hadde udiagnostisert Asperger syndrom og psykotisk lidelse i tillegg. De stjal tingene mine, truet med å legge ut bilder av meg da de så hva jeg hadde på under jeansen. Trengte bleier fordi jeg ellers hadde tissa i buksa samtidig som den månedlige syklusen, jeg takker Gud for at jeg brukte dem likevel. Jeg hadde sengevæting også, så jeg brukte dem også da. Jeg mener det virkelig, det er mye vanskeligere å faktisk si dette på norsk. Jeg var i BUP systemet et par år og de gjorde ingen utredning for å finne hva jeg egentlig hadde slags diagnose, dessverre maste vi ikke om å få ordentlig utredning på tidspunktet.

Sosionomen jeg snakket med fra BUP visste ikke at jeg ble mobbet fordi jeg ikke hadde fortalt han det før jeg brøt sammen i gråt etter en helt ekstrem episode i Sverige på klassetur. Han ble ganske frustrert av at jeg ikke hadde sagt dette før, men det er ikke lett å innrømme at man ikke strekker til sosialt med jevnaldrende som utnytter svakheter og annerledeshet til noe de kan heve sin egen status med i gruppen.

Jeg skulle ha snakket med noen om dette, og fortalt dem om symptomer på psykose og bipolar lidelse. Jeg hadde fortalt dem om mobbingen jeg strevde med, og livet generelt med en fraværende far som var rusavhengig og ustabil.

Klarer ikke skrive mer, beklager. Jeg er takknemlig for at dere leser bloggen min, det betyr mye for meg ❤

Daily writing prompt

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

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In my late childhood years I had a three years younger friend, I’m calling her HR. She had very significant case of AS/Asperger syndrome and was really a unique person, I’ve never known any autistic person as well as I knew her. I’m mentioning HR in particular because honestly I was playing God with my younger friends, especially with HR and I regret this with my entire core inner being and I so strongly wish I had been more understanding and truly compassionate. I had no clue we had this condition in common before it was too late to apologize in person and I would have really listen to her opinions and vulnerable state, I’m literally in tears for the things I didn’t understand then. I wish I had done so much more and been an equal in real ways. I wish we had many more of our deep philosophy conversations and our unique connection being treated with care.

And I was so lucky to know this wonderful and special young girl, I truly hope she is in good spirits and survived the difficult years we all go through in life.

Takk HR og unnskyld for at jeg ikke alltid forstod deg, at jeg var den som dominerte over de yngre vennene mine jeg skulle satt mye større pris på, du er fantastisk og var gull verdt, jeg glemmer deg aldri ❤

Daily writing prompt

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

View all responses

I had a classmate named Dennis, he was a farmer boy and they had horses there. It was in the more rural part of our town, and since my mother didn’t own car I used to be a passager on the bus or some adult bring me to this place.

But my East African origin female friend really bullied this boy a lot, and I wish I had made her stop. Btw he was dyslexic and l one time joined the evil ones just laughing at a song one of the Norwegian ethnicity bullies came up with about this poor boy. It’s never a good idea to bully people and be your best compassionate self instead of this tbh quite abusive treatment.

The reason I joined them was a combination of mania, paranoia, voice-hearing, wanted the feeling of being superior to someone. I was myself bullied significantly for being different with my undiagnosed conditions including Asperger syndrome and long-term psychosis. I was feeling shame around my farmer roots and the youth environment (and the adult culture) had dislike of farmers and toward the people of rival towns in our close region.

I wish I had spoken out against the youth bullying this boy, get the teachers to pay attention to our youth culture and to promote equality in actions, not just words.

I’m truly sorry Dennis for not helping you, and I hope your life is good for you now.

Thank you all for reading ❤