What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
My blog is much more important than it seems at surface level, because I really actually dream related to this blog every night. This is where I get feedback and inspiration on my writing and the music videos, my world in writing and feelings from reading. The community is important and my life would be very different without this influence in everyday life. My offline life is solitary and kind of dark in several ways, I hear several kind of voices and have strong delusional ways of thinking in everyday life.
So my blog life matters a lot to me and I really appreciate your time and feedback. Have a good night here from Northern Norway ❤
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
Note: This contains some rambling thoughts and psychotic experience from first person perspective.
As some people may know about me I’m dx with severe mental-health conditions and I’ve been psychotic since 2005 at age 12. And many parts of my experiences have made me more mature and given greater strenght to my already strong fighter spirits. And they have torn me apart, wounded my pride, affected my relationships and a lot of emotional struggles in the years.
I remember a couple of times in my manic depressive psychosis that I was listening to some great music and my mind start working at interpretation from my own perspective. This is not always a good thing to act on or ruminate a lot about, but it can be insightful and deeply connected to your inner world. So I was listening to this metal track and I wanted a cup of hot tea, I love tea a lot in everyday life. It was that really great Earl Grey tea from English tea shop and everything made so much sense in that moment, I saw connection with inner world and society in general. Btw I’m a 12th house Sun + Mercury + Chiron in conjunction group (Leo + Virgo signs) and my Saturn in 6th house (Aquarius).
Some examples of songs I’ve listen through over the years that I recall and can recommend to interested music listeners;
Tears don’t fall, all these things I hate revolve around me, waking the demon (Bullet for my Valentine tracks/songs, type of metal genres).
the Power of the Mind, Psychedelic, Just say my Name, Megasound (Headhunterz tracks/songs, hardstyle genre of electronic music).
The tea helps me focus and I like the feeling of having these tea rituals grounding me in the present moment to some degree even when going through a severe episode of schizoaffective condition. It’s not magic, but it’s close.
What experiences in life helped you grow the most?
I’ve written about this topic before, but I wanted to say some more about it. I have schizoaffective condition, a kind of mix of symptoms related to schizophrenia and mood disorder (in my case bipolarity). I also have Asperger syndrome, diagnosed at age 17. My life history is possibly interesting to you, I will mention some of it. My father was absent from most of my childhood and youth, he is an addict to several substances and my mother left him in 1995. After this I went to many different schools and I had a hard time with my conditions being undiagnosed and the bullying I experienced. In 7th grade I had my schizophrenic break and I got into psychiatry in 2007. I also met my father 3 times during my teenage years, in a safe environment. I was into genealogy and wanted to know more about his biological father side like his many half-siblings and about my fathers youth years, especially since I felt like connections were important.
So what helped me grow the most? A combination of my childhood adversity, my mental-health conditions, my autistic passion and my long-term recovery process. I have been taking psychiatric medications for more than 10 years and I’m honestly grateful for the help they give me in everyday life. I also have learned a lot by blogging and reading different blogs and connect with people all over the World.
Thank you for reading, I hope it was interesting to you hearing my story. Have a wonderful day everyone ❤
It would definitively be the experiences with my childhood adversity and bullying, my experiences with severe mental illness and my long-term recovery.
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