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I’m really happy and enthusiastic about today right at this moment, I’m feeling better than usual and that I am genuinely thankful for.

Daily writing prompt

When do you feel most productive?

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I feel most productive during my waking nights, whether in our December winter during our darkest polar nights or the June Midnight sun Light of summer. During these nights I get so much done, feels like sometimes it’s kind of manic this thing. And I used to be a heavy user of energy drinks (three to four each day on average) but now I don’t drink every day because I’m not so dependent on them anymore.

I feel like night time is sacred to us on the neurodivergent/schizoaffective side, I’m also epileptic (temporal lobe epilepsy) so I need to be careful staying up all night for extended time. I enjoy an iPod session during the waking nights, playing some drum&bass music to get my energy in balance. Often I write quite a lot during these nights, blog or other media/forms including writing in physical notebooks. I like reading in different ways either a book or reading something on my electronic device. Sometimes I watch a great and interesting documentary of some kind, or old tv series from 1970s television (NRK).

There are a lot of activities to do during the nights in every season, but the Midnight sun presents special moments due to the all-day light. Enjoying a can of cider outside in the garden, watching our wonderful view in mindful state (or maybe slightly tipsy and affected by the different psychoactive beverages), it’s special. I really love our Arctic summers and the place I live is so magical, we get plenty of tourists wanting to experience our unique environment and culture.

Thank you so much for visiting my blog, it truly means a lot to me and I hope it was interesting to others reading. Have a wonderful day ❤

Daily writing prompt

What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

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I’m from Norway and we celebrate Midsummer in late June, Sankthans. I like just walking outside watching people and the places the bonfire is and with the BBQ celebration. I choose sometimes to have several cans of cider being outside, and we live somewhere that’s close to nature so the view we have is absolutely wonderful.

Our summer is short and our winter is very long, so summer time is special to us in ways difficult to explain to even many Norwegian Southerners, they have true Sankthans as well but not Midnight sun like here and they have a slightly shorter winter.

so we have a mix of Christian and pagan tradition during Midsummer, people get together and light bonfires and grill/BBQ celebration outside. And often alcohol for the adults, people should not buy alcopop to underage teens, it’s illegal in Norway.

I’m looking forward to this holiday, thank you for reading this blog ❤ ❤

Daily writing prompt

What are your favorite brands and why?

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Topaz; I have two new pairs of seal hide boots with fur outside and wool inside, the tall boots are called Amundsen and regular boots are called Sami. They are pretty, warm in freezing cold and symbolic of my roots/ethnicity. I really love these shoes and therefore I like the Topaz brand as well, high quality boots.

English Tea shop: I really like the Earl Grey and they have a lot of very nice teas of different kinds both Earl Grey, oolong, herbal tea mixed, berry tea, good plain white tea etc/osv. The box is pretty and I enjoy drinking hot tea in morning and evening, afternoon or night.

Sloggi; I’m wearing Sloggi underwear mostly, I have some favourite models from this brand. They even have unique types for use during the womanhood curse (my own term for periods) and that is so useful to many of us. I have a top as well, it’s very comfortable wearing.

so those are some of my favourite brands, I hope this was useful/interesting to others. Thank you for reading and I wish you all a nice day ❤

I’m drinking this type of energy drink tomorrow morning, I like it a lot. The taste is not too sweet and not too sour either, and I like apples in general; especially our Norwegian kind that’s quite different from other types. I of course also love berries like cloudberry (in my blogs name as well, a strong symbol of my Saami and Kven heritage), raspberry and strawberry.

I want to read both non-fiction and fantasy, about genealogy, ethnic minorities and astrology. Collections of poetry, in any language. I enjoy reading a lot and I truly want to write something about my experiences and perspective, maybe some of my creative writing as well.

Sun + Moon + Rising/Ascendant in Leo. I want to know what it feels like being so regal and proud, mystical in a true Leo way. I also want to live a day as Björk who is a triple Scorpio, I love her music as well with that special voice and way of being. Btw my astrology interest goes much deeper and into the many details than it can look like from this post.

Daily writing prompt

What topics do you like to discuss?

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these two topics go well together and I like that. Genealogy and ethnicities have been some of my autistic passions over the years and still strong today. I don’t have narrow interests; many neurotypical people like speaking with me about my topics of interest. And I’m useful to my family members in this way, I know a lot about our ancestry and in these times also our genetic ethnicities estimates from DNA-testing like MyHeritage and 23andMe.

School for me was quite difficult and I had enuresis (often day, and nearly every night) so I happen to have accidents quite often. This made me very anxious and nervous, and bullies like that feeling in the victims so they can inflict more shame and make people break down in tears. I got some help when I needed it most, thank goodness for Norwegian health-care.

Sorry this isn’t at all happy, sometimes I just cannot express my sense of humor.

But on the bright side I have a blog and I know the World has beautiful aspects hidden in the deep Darkness and everything makes sense in nature of the spirits world. We can grow to be stronger and more compassionate human beings, that’s very important.

Thanks for reading ❤

I enjoy online shops from Cubus, Sunkost and the pharmacy. So I sometimes go on an online shopping spree and buy both very useful and not so necessary things, and spend a lot of money on this. Recently I bought another pair of jeans, had to buy a smaller size than usual and it fit me much better. But clothes are quite expensive sometimes, I also love shoes and I have a pair of wonderful boots thst cost me 5000 Norwegian kroner and I absolutely adore them, seal hide tall boots with fur outside and wool inside they are called Amundsen and it’s Topaz brand. I’m rambling now maybe?

But I think many things are worth the risk, and same with life in general. I blog and write about dark topics every day and it’s risk involved there too. and I choose to blog and be authentic as I feel. We need to be open about mental-health conditions and adversity plus minority groups topics, plus political themes of interest to the identity and community.

Thank you for visiting my blog and happy Friday! ❤ ❤

dailyprompt-1927

I vote in general elections, on the national level and local politicians. I also importantly can vote in Sámi elections as I’m a member of samemanntallet, we get some influence on what is decided in Sametinget. I’m not saying voting is the answer but I personally vote in the elections I have right to vote in.

thank you for reading ❤

Note: I know this sounds strange, but I am certain I won’t regret this choice at all. And I’m not in transition of gender, I’m only getting new name that match my identity.

Ingvild stays up all day, all night

Torunn, the Leo rebel Queen

My official offline name will soon change to match what I feel like is my identity, I’ve already gotten some experience with using my chosen name in real life. And it’s certainly a risk, and a big change that I will likely still be surprised by. But it will be so worth it ❤

I don’t like having limited time getting something done well, I need the time necessary to do it with skill and faith in the results. So a deadline is often an unwelcome aspect of these types of tasks.

Daily writing prompt

Describe a risk you took that you do not regret.

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I am a psychiatric patient and I have been in psychiatry since 2007 at 14 years old. I’ve learned through many experiences that asking the doctors important questions from a place of my own confident nature has great value to my recovery and treatments. I don’t like authoritarian doctors at all, and I never give in to them; I fight strong for my rights and value in my own lived experiences. These doctors have not experiences with psychiatry the same way I have taking medications and healing from years of untreated psychotic condition, even moderate-severe overdose of a powerful medicine in a desperate moment. So I don’t regret this risk and I keep moving forward with this mindset and fighter spirits.

don’t be afraid to speak your mind and you deserve respect as a human being ❤ ❤

Daily writing prompt

When do you feel most productive?

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I just recently writing about difficult topics so I wanted to talk about tea now.

We are heading for the brighter parts of the year, Midnight sun is soon back again from end May to end July. And I love my Earl Grey a lot, the English Tea Shop one is the best according to my perspective. So it doesn’t get dark at night in June but I take my sleeping pills when it’s difficult to fall asleep naturally. And dark curtains are a big help in the all-day light if you have a room where it’s sun on it at nighttime.

I feel more productive after a cup of Earl Grey and I’m present within the moment, more aware of my mind and surroundings.

And I wish to thank every reader for your time and quiet support. I wish you all well ❤

Det er vanskelig for meg å skrive om enkelte tema på mitt eget morsmål, det er mye lettere å skrive på engelsk om problemene jeg hadde på skolen. Men noen ganger er det nyttig å øve på å virkelig være åpen med seg selv og andre på morsmålet. Så her er en tekst jeg strevde med å få sagt.

Jeg ble mobbet mye i barneskolen og på ungdomsskolen, jeg hadde udiagnostisert Asperger syndrom og psykotisk lidelse i tillegg. De stjal tingene mine, truet med å legge ut bilder av meg da de så hva jeg hadde på under jeansen. Trengte bleier fordi jeg ellers hadde tissa i buksa samtidig som den månedlige syklusen, jeg takker Gud for at jeg brukte dem likevel. Jeg hadde sengevæting også, så jeg brukte dem også da. Jeg mener det virkelig, det er mye vanskeligere å faktisk si dette på norsk. Jeg var i BUP systemet et par år og de gjorde ingen utredning for å finne hva jeg egentlig hadde slags diagnose, dessverre maste vi ikke om å få ordentlig utredning på tidspunktet.

Sosionomen jeg snakket med fra BUP visste ikke at jeg ble mobbet fordi jeg ikke hadde fortalt han det før jeg brøt sammen i gråt etter en helt ekstrem episode i Sverige på klassetur. Han ble ganske frustrert av at jeg ikke hadde sagt dette før, men det er ikke lett å innrømme at man ikke strekker til sosialt med jevnaldrende som utnytter svakheter og annerledeshet til noe de kan heve sin egen status med i gruppen.

Jeg skulle ha snakket med noen om dette, og fortalt dem om symptomer på psykose og bipolar lidelse. Jeg hadde fortalt dem om mobbingen jeg strevde med, og livet generelt med en fraværende far som var rusavhengig og ustabil.

Klarer ikke skrive mer, beklager. Jeg er takknemlig for at dere leser bloggen min, det betyr mye for meg ❤

Daily writing prompt

What is your favorite holiday? Why is it your favorite?

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Note: some text in Norwegian language

because our Arctic winters are so long, we really appreciate the Arctic summer even when it’s far from warm: I feel good in summer time even at 10°C and rainfall. We have the all-day light during our summer holiday; the Midnight sun and it’s magical really we are so used to it but it’s still wonderful to experience.

Norwegian; Jeg gleder meg sånn til sommerferien i år, jeg skal være mye ute i hagen og drikke kald energidrikk sammen med kald rusbrus og pærecider rundt midnatt i det vidunderlige solskinnet og den magiske stemningen vi opplever rundt det. Å bli litt solbrun fra å være ute i solskinnet og få nok D-vitamin fra naturen, jeg tar D-vitamin (kosttilskudd) hele året fordi jeg alltid ligger lavt i nivå på blodprøver. Ha på musikk på iPod og noen ganger koble den til høyttaler når jeg trenger en oppmuntring.

so summer holiday is my favourite because it’s wonderful spending time together outside in the garden or walking to local store or visiting family and drinking cold drinks together in the summer warmth, or just being by myself contemplating the meaning of this joy and being happy for what is good for our family, and also for our society as a whole. We all deserve peace ☮️💜

Daily writing prompt

Have you ever been camping?

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I remember we were at very first weeks of 8th grade we went to stay the night in tents with sleeping bags on high altitude close to the mountain and a lake. When we need to be relieved it was a kind of latrine outside so it was hardcore trip. We also had a lot of fun being together at night time, some of the other youths had bought energy drinks in Sweden (living right next to border with Northern Sweden, Norrbotten county) and I got a sip/taste of one, Burn brand in particular. And I prepared well for the trip ahead so I didn’t have to worry about wetting the sleeping bag at night. We were singing sad/deep lyrics songs at night, and my classmates were quite nice to each other right then.

I’m strongly interested in our natural environments and I feel connection with the World around me in this situation of sleeping outside in a tent.

thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

What makes you nervous?

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1 teenagers;

Teenagers scare me because of my negative experiences with them as a teenager and they are unpredictable in general, my heart starts racing when I see them and this used to be much worse when I was younger before getting on my antipsychotics and SSRI.

2 unexpected questions;

Unexpected questions make me nervous because I’m not prepared to answer correctly in a confident way.

3 rejection;

This is a major issues I have and many people fear rejection also, btw I have Saturn in Aquarius so it’s also a big part of my astrology.

4 paranoid delusions and voices in public spaces;

I have schizoaffective condition and I don’t like being outside when I have my more psychotic days, it’s very difficult to deal with this when I’m not in a very familiar setting.

5 being outside during rush hour;

This is especially difficult if I also experience the other things that make me nervous.

6 anxiety and obsessive thoughts;

I have anxiety and OCD, and I fear being nervous with others even though I have nothing to hide.

I truly wish I had a close relationship with another woman, a kind of romantic type at the core. I’m a lesbian and I’ve known about my preferred direction since at the earlier parts during late childhood and later in my teens more in-depth and with intensity. I’m if you don’t know me from before an autistic/Aspie woman turning 32 this late summer and I’m from Northern Scandinavian region with strong Finnish roots.

Despite my conditions and deep insecurity I wish to connect with someone on a deep level that I’ve never experienced before.

And thank you so much for reading my blog ❤

Daily writing prompt

What topics do you like to discuss?

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I’m on the far-left side politically and my family in general is socialist-leaning or even communist in the older generation. We are all passionate about our natural environment and importantly in actions as well as words. I’m the only anarchist in my family but I like speaking with my political left side family members, we have some strong right wing members as well but we don’t bother with much politically charged arguments as we know we don’t mutually understand the others perspective.

Daily writing prompt

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

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after a long day on errands and visits to other people I need to just unwind in my own way, and in the summer the natural conditions are different from other times. I also spend time listening to music I enjoy after coming home again after hectic errands and other activities involving many people together. This is completely necessary if my well-being is to be good.

about our summers it’s very prescious to the local people because our winters are very long. On very warm days it’s like 30°C outside and sunny so hot tea is not ideal right then, luckily I always try having some type of iced tea. My favourite brand/type is either the peach black tea or the wonderful white tea isTe types. I just love chill tea in summer season ❤

Note: I know this particular example in title isn’t really a physical book, but I search online for different names (often Norse origin ones) on that website very, very often these days. I think that website is very interesting and I use it to get deep understanding of the meaning and statistics, like how many got the name in a particular year.

I love learning about names and the statistics involved, it also relates to my interests in genealogy and ethnicities. I’m from Norway and I like Norse origin names especially, also because many of my family members have quite strong Norse influence in given/first names.

So a good book about names, including last names/surnames also, will be a very well-read book on my shelf ❤

(About my favourite emojis, dailyprompt)

❄️🌨💙🇫🇮 + 👌💗💕 + 🤔🇧🇻🌞😂 + ♀️💜♀️

buorre eahket, buorre idja, buorre iđit, buorre beaivi

good evening, good night, good morning, good day

And this, in Finnish: Hyviä aikoja toivottaen!

Norwegian language text:

Monster-E og en cider, hipster-karsk; eple alt sammen som jeg skrev på andre bloggen i dag. Say it ain’t so og effektiv smertestillende for Chiari type 1 (Chiari malformation) og de hjelper meg faktisk med mange symptomer i tillegg til sterke fysiske smerter. Og jeg hører på musikk ❤

English summary: alcohol-containing cider and energy drinks with apple flavour, the band Weezer and their track ‘Say it ain’t so’ and the painkillers that help. And I’m listening to music ❤

Daily writing prompt

How do you use social media?

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I’m not on any other social media currently, but I have a online family tree as well. I read and post, like searching for my favourite music from my youth years on YouTube. I write different kinds of texts, whether creative or plain. I enjoy the community here a lot as well. My news come from (far-left) left side political themes and I like what resonates with me and stir my emotions, poems or creative acts of kindness. I could not easily go back to life before blogging, it’s become a big part of my everyday life actually and I think it’s better in many ways.

thank you for listening ❤

In 2016 going on our summer holiday to Kristiansand in Agder county we actually took the train from Oslo to Kristiansand, we don’t have any railroads in Finnmark county and in general Northern Norway doesn’t have railway except some places in Nordland county.

And while me and my mother were talking we saw a young man in front decided to speak with him and this conversation was so interesting, he was a Southern student on one of the schools in the region. He had curly hair and he was listening to us, two Northern women on summer holiday seeing our close Agder family and visit our memories of Kristiansand as a city. And I had gotten on quite effective psych medications so I was much more outgoing/social in general.

We were talking for at least an hour according to my memory and perception of time, many different topics and his accent/dialect was so unique and he told us where he was from during the conversation we had.

Btw I love far-Southern culture in general and the people are so kind in a quiet way at the same time being honest and good sense of humor.

I’m so thankful and happy we got to speak with someone we never would have met staying home, and I hope he thought it was interesting as well.

Thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Jot down the first thing that comes to your mind.

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it’s raining, or rather right now something Norwegians call ‘sludd’ a mixture of rain and snow. So the winter is soon to leave, but we live here in the Arctic location so snow can often happen unexpected.

Note: this is kind of different from the question. But it was the first thing I thought of apart from that I mentioned on other blog.

Our school trip to the Mountain lake was as usual very much an escape from the adversity I often experienced, but I had an inner adversary as well; the voices in my head. I sat alone on a rock cover with moss and then a dark hair foreign student joined me, she was actually from (Iraqi) Kurdistan. We got along so well that day and soon after we were best friends, it was so worth the trip and being apart spending time with an outsider kind of similar to myself in many ways.

Love your random encounter with future friends, it saved my school years from being worse.

Thank you for reading ❤

Note: this is mostly about the Kven language and culture.

I’m of Kven ancestry and our family culture is very strong in Kven influence. The Kven people are kind of like an old diaspora from Northern Finland going often centuries back, living in Northern Norway and speaking the Kven language that is quite similar to the Finnish language. I’m a proud Kven ❤

If my ancestors had been able to keep the native languages we had likely spoken Kven and North Sámi as well as Norwegian. There are forced assimilation policies mostly in the past but make no mistake it’s actually still somewhat of a problem especially for Kven people due to the perception we are just really immigrants and not ‘urfolk/indigenous’ to Northern Norway, no such prejudice toward the Sámi as they/we are already recognized as indigenous/urfolk in Norway.

Me and my maternal grandmother have strong attempted to learn the Kven language from language course and we are passionate members of the local Kven group and the national ‘Norske Kveners Forbund’ that fight for Kven topics in general and awareness of our culture, including the languages. I also want to learn North Sámi language and standard Finnish as well.

Honestly I still am not fluent in Kven language, but I truly am going to practice a lot with my Kven identified family members to know more, and not to mention it’s also fun ❤

Thanks for listening ❤

I’m afraid of visiting my main youth home town in Nordland county, and it’s of many reasons I haven’t been there since moving further North in 2009. I want to see the beautiful environment I remember with joy in my heart, the pure nature being amazing to experience. But I’m also afraid of ruin my nostalgic love for this wonderful place when it reminds me of some very difficult and moments of pitch black Darkness within, meeting my old classmates that were bullying me through these years and our Norwegian supremacist teacher who disliked me strongly for my issues and ethnicity of my friends, of my own ethnic minority origins that I was proud of because that no one could take away from me. And also the town could not be like in 2009 for obvious reasons plus I’m nearly 16 years older now. I loved it so much and I hated it while living in mental agony.

I feel quite ambivalent with this mixed relationship with my youth experience and I’m likely never going back, to keep my good memories from being darker than I thought.

Thank you for reading this ❤

Daily writing prompt

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

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In my late childhood years I had a three years younger friend, I’m calling her HR. She had very significant case of AS/Asperger syndrome and was really a unique person, I’ve never known any autistic person as well as I knew her. I’m mentioning HR in particular because honestly I was playing God with my younger friends, especially with HR and I regret this with my entire core inner being and I so strongly wish I had been more understanding and truly compassionate. I had no clue we had this condition in common before it was too late to apologize in person and I would have really listen to her opinions and vulnerable state, I’m literally in tears for the things I didn’t understand then. I wish I had done so much more and been an equal in real ways. I wish we had many more of our deep philosophy conversations and our unique connection being treated with care.

And I was so lucky to know this wonderful and special young girl, I truly hope she is in good spirits and survived the difficult years we all go through in life.

Takk HR og unnskyld for at jeg ikke alltid forstod deg, at jeg var den som dominerte over de yngre vennene mine jeg skulle satt mye større pris på, du er fantastisk og var gull verdt, jeg glemmer deg aldri ❤

Daily writing prompt

Describe a decision you made in the past that helped you learn or grow.

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since 2005 when I was 12 years old I got actually psychotic and bipolarity much more strongly than before, I had some bipolarity already in 2001 at age 8 years. But in fact I went 8 years with this strong schizoaffective condition before I got effective treatment and diagnosis of real mental health conditions, I had been diagnosed with autism/Asperger syndrome a couple of years before this but they didn’t listen to me or close family so I got more severe symptoms. But after my treatments started working everything changed and it wasn’t easy at all, very difficult in fact. I realised how delusional I had been and how much the voice-hearing had dragged me down to nothing, how my mood disorder twisted my perspective on life in general. It was very hard, but I kept taking my medications for the sake of my family members well-being, and thank goodness for me to make this choice and the efforts to get even better; still a living project even 12 years later. And I thank my family, my psychiatric nurse and my first psychiatrist for fighting and to believe in my recovery.

It’s really about passion and effort from all directions, both health-care workers family members and importantly also the person within this state of being. I learn something and it goes:

There is Light behind even the Darkest moments.

thank you everyone for visiting ❤

Our family has Finnish roots, including mostly of Northern Finnish, Tornedalian and Kven origins.

Note: kind of long post about many related topics within culture and my experiences.

The Finnish people are known for many positive features of cultures, and I want to speak Finnish well enough for normal conversations with the native speakers. I have work book of our Kven language lessons from around 2016 and I’m going to read and practice a lot.

But the aspects that really shines is the Finnish sisu of our family, we keep moving forward despite significant difficulties in life. My mother supported me in my childhood and youth years when life was often hard to handle well, being often bullied and suffering from undiagnosed conditions of severe mental illness and moderate autism spectrum. At first in 2011 I was actually diagnosed with classic autism due to my psychosis being that severe so I could not communicate my thoughts in coherent sentences.

My mother was the one who got me into youth psychiatry along with the school nurse. She didn’t stop fighting for my well-being and my education, she is a teacher since over 15 years ago and cares about her students; many are of foreign origins, we are as family very fond of diversity of cultures and ethnicities in general.

I believe we as a society must fight for the underdogs of all kinds, including among many our immigrants and drug users having hard times coping with our long winters and the lack of sunshine during the polar nights here in the far-North region.

Thank you all for reading ❤

My mother is my most loved person in my life and she has always been there in my darkest moments, through psychosis, bipolar and even significant overdoses that got me in hospital. Single mother of two and so intelligent, she is a true Gemini with three planets in Gemini sign plus Mercury in Cancer sign, Mercury being the ruler of Gemini it’s important to her astrology. She also helps my half-brother and his children, we all get along in this part of my family. She encouraged me to get treatments for many of my illnesses and she also has her own strong fighter spirits, I love her so much ❤ ❤ ❤

Tusen takk mamma, for at du er her for oss alltid ❤

Daily writing prompt

What place in the world do you never want to visit? Why?

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there is no particular place I never want to visit. But I don’t do well on our Norwegian summer heat; only 30°C is too warm for my well-being and health conditions. Being naturally warm even on very cold winter season days with -25°C makes me quite sensitive to very warm summer environments. I do very well with only a true mild sauna experience and I also appreciate our Finnish and our close Kven roots, the culture around these ethnic minority groups. I cannot imagine what the desert environments really feel within my perspective, when the locals there feel too much heat for their well-being, health.

This is an astrology book about the astrological houses in Western astrology. All of the astrology books I own are interesting to read even many times, especially when I need to inspire my true spiritual side and the inner world I carry with me. I have two books from Sue Tompkins and one book from Howard Sasportas being his work writing the book ‘The Twelve Houses’. I have many planets and placements in the 12th house including my Sun and Mercury in conjunction from two different astrological signs; Virgo and Leo. I’m a quiet person in my everyday life and I value being true to my inner world, finding new parts of me within my introspective search.

I love reading different kinds of books from fantasy novels to spiritual/psychodynamic topics and non-fiction as well. And I also enjoy writing, maybe I’ll write something for any person that wishes to learn about voice-hearing and important aspects of Asperger syndrome from my own perspective and experiences.

I’m very grateful for this blog and I thank you all for reading and I hope to ignite the inspiration in people to explore their deep inner passion with mentioning my favourite astrology books and other works.

Daily writing prompt

Write about a time when you didn’t take action but wish you had. What would you do differently?

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I had a classmate named Dennis, he was a farmer boy and they had horses there. It was in the more rural part of our town, and since my mother didn’t own car I used to be a passager on the bus or some adult bring me to this place.

But my East African origin female friend really bullied this boy a lot, and I wish I had made her stop. Btw he was dyslexic and l one time joined the evil ones just laughing at a song one of the Norwegian ethnicity bullies came up with about this poor boy. It’s never a good idea to bully people and be your best compassionate self instead of this tbh quite abusive treatment.

The reason I joined them was a combination of mania, paranoia, voice-hearing, wanted the feeling of being superior to someone. I was myself bullied significantly for being different with my undiagnosed conditions including Asperger syndrome and long-term psychosis. I was feeling shame around my farmer roots and the youth environment (and the adult culture) had dislike of farmers and toward the people of rival towns in our close region.

I wish I had spoken out against the youth bullying this boy, get the teachers to pay attention to our youth culture and to promote equality in actions, not just words.

I’m truly sorry Dennis for not helping you, and I hope your life is good for you now.

Thank you all for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

How do you unwind after a demanding day?

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Having a cup of lovely hot tea, a particular brand of Earl Grey is my favourite. I get cozy sensation from my many wool blankets (including merino wool) and the feeling of being done for the day, being happy and finished with something is one of the best states of mind to be in for me. 

And I reflect on my experiences of the day, it’s so important to really let the mind work through the events and words, sometimes it’s kind of like a connected disconnect in life. Btw I have mental-health conditions affecting my life quite significantly including while on medications.

I feel comfortable in mind and body after some time doing this, especially if I’m suffering pain and then it gets better so I can sleep through the night and wake up with a new perspective.

(Norwegian text, in my native language)

Tusen takk for at dere leser ❤

This is funny in Norway, and I am Sámi so this fits well with the title. And I assume some of my life will be mostly similar to now, but different still.

I’m going to keep researching our ancestry and appreciate our cultural background. I want to know well the languages that were taken from us by Norwegianization/Fornorskning, (forced assimilation policies) and I’m likely getting traditional clothing from my type of ethnicity and also not forget the beauty of it in several meanings.

I intend to grow and healing wounds, to nurture different relationships and support my strong causes and build my own activism efforts.

We need people in our society to see how connected we are with each other and the Earth, and I’m going to make it into a realistic goal of my own lifetime to fight for the underdogs.

thanks for reading, visiting and for listening ❤

Daily writing prompt

Where do you see yourself in 10 years?

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mostly I see myself moving forward with my goal of healing in general, my difficult experiences in perspective different from now. So I really believe I will have grown as a person in several ways and keep evolving this self-compassion. Writing about my experiences of adversity and severe mental illness and being an autistic woman. I can be someones good friend listening deep. I could have a partner that loves me as much as I love them, and you need to learn how to love yourself to really be compassionate with others on deep level.

Note/warning: Very much self-critical of my name and I’m in a very dark mood now. I advice to not read if you feel unstable in your identity.

I have one name I don’t like. I really don’t like it actually, I feel resentment just thinking about it. Maybe it will get better when I get my name ‘fixed’ so I feel good about my name identity. It’s a Norse origin name apparently but it isn’t cool enough like Ingvild and Torunn that are great names of respect. I hate my name with a passion, get rid of the stupid four letter word that I cannot even write properly with my handwriting. I’m very feeling resentment toward even my parents for choose it sorry that’s evil of me to feel, to tell the World. Lost in my mind now, the memories are strong how the bullies made cruel fun of me for having this ‘old aunts name’ (that is different from Torunn a pretty and cool name common in 1950s to 1960s just like my name I hate, this four letter name it’s not a pretty name i hate it)

The point of this is to show what it look like inside someone with self-worth issues around names. I deep within know my name isn’t really ugly or wrong, it’s because I am listening to the past hurts of my child self being bullied by people with common names from early 1990s Norway. I hope your days are good ❤

Thank you all and I do wish I liked the name that I currently despise. Happy Saturday ❤

important part: this is about a lot of different topics so it might seem very not related to question. But I did learn this in my early to late teenage years, it’s a very big part of my life actually still today.

I had mostly non-European origin friends in my youth and we went to same school and same class. My friend from Uganda had extreme ADHD and troubled with a strong tendency to bullying behaviour, especially toward one of our dyslexic classmates. And I had a Kurdish best friend, we had a lot of fun between severe arguments and ignoring each other afterwards.

We had a Norwegian supremacist teacher who hated non-European origin youth like my friends. He also strongly disliked people like me with undiagnosed, untreated severe conditions and importantly my far-Northern roots. I’m of Sámi/Kven origins as well as Norwegian and this teacher was discriminating against us, both my friends and myself he said to other adults the worst racist comments and related misogyny.

In my time taking Sámi language lessons in a nearby little town I remember once being called strange racist slurs, I was so surprised that young boys were shouting to a much older Sámi girl. 

I also experience this in adult life, people judge by appearance what ethnicity you are and one tine we were visiting another town in our county when a local man asked two men there if they came from our town, but they were instead from Porsanger and local man said in essence ‘you look that way, like not from this town, Saami or Finnish rather than us Norwegians’. Strange man, my grandmother and me had conversations after this, what was he thinking about us we were from the largest city here, that he was referring to.

I’m rambling now, but I felt like writing exactly my perspective on this.

Thank you all for listening ❤

Daily writing prompt

What are 5 everyday things that bring you happiness?

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1 first I will mention my passion for tea. This include everything from Earl Grey, Darjeeling, oolong tea to rooibos, ginger, herbal and strawberry tea. I need at least two cups of hot tea every day, and I drink with mindfulness focus on the tea experience and my tea rituals.

2 second I’ll mention is writing on my blogs, I enjoy this a lot and it’s both the writing and the reading, the great online community here as well. My life really is different after doing this since late 2023, I’m more aware of my thoughts and the feedback. I’m thankful for my decisions to start this journey and let it unfold natural.

3 third is my friends and family, I need people just like any other person and they often help me get out of my dark moods when I’m in struggles related to my schizoaffective condition. They help me with a lot of things and I’m grateful forever to them, we connect deeply as well.

4 fourth nature outside our house, the beauty of our wonderful view and our lovely garden in the summer, having some cold drinks and getting tan in the Arctic sunshine. Mountains and forests, sea and the diversity of wildlife right outside our doorstep.

5 fifth my Arctic location and the unique features of living so far North, especially the Midnight sun in summer season. It’s all-day light for over a month, the sun does not set and nighttime is not dark at all. I watch the Northern lights when the winter sky is clear of clouds and there is little air/light pollution here. Our winters are very long and we are used to quite cold temperature often at -25°C without the account for the sometimes strong winds.

So those are my 5 parts of everyday happiness. Thank you all for reading ❤