Category: Uncategorised

Daily writing prompt

Describe your most ideal day from beginning to end.

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My first thought was this track (it’s sad)

I wake up at 5 am as usual, have been sleeping long enough to feel rested. I have a cup of Darjeeling tea and then take my medications without trouble. I listen to music, I go on a walk to the local store to not buy alcohol-containing drinks and then some anyway because I’m not an alcoholic, yeah? So I have some good conversations as well, my pain is under control and I have moments of deep stillness for half hour. I take my evening pills and I save my alcopop for tomorrow, a new day. Sweet strawberry dreams.

thank you for reading, and I promise you I’m okay ❤

Daily writing prompt

What were your parents doing at your age?

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I don’t really know what my father was doing at age 31 but he has had addiction since before I was born (and still does), and before I was 2 years old we left and I grew up with a single mother and the other close and extended family including both sides of my family tree.

my mother was a student and a mother of two children; my half-brother and me. She had an addiction to nicotine but otherwise okay, we have strong bond still. And our first dog (a Sheltie), came into our lives then also. And she has quit a long time (decades) ago smoking, that’s a very good job done on her part ❤

Btw they are both born in 1968 so it was around the same time: 1999/2000.

The ones we lost and the ones who were born. The sadness and the passion for life are real and my perspective is different, changes, for each experience I have in life. I’m very grateful for life no matter how painful and disabling my medical conditions are and will continue to be for the rest of my living days. Our younger generation will shape the World, I see great potential in my younger relatives. I believe in walking on my own path in this lifetime, there is so much to be experienced and to grow back together, my wounded healer potential (Chiron themes) is profound and important.

Thanks for your time and the visit ❤

Living so far North we are used to cold temperatures and snow, and the ice traction cleats we have are very helpful on blank ice so not to slip and fall. It’s not in our local culture to complain about the weather, we just stay inside during the rough weather/storms and wait til it gets back to normal again. I’m happy with our Northern spirits and passion for life, some sense of humor as well.

Thank you for reading ❤

It feels like I am to busy to travel around Scandinavia and Finland to see for myself what my ancestors environment was like, even though I really wish to do this it never gets made into reality. But I still dream of this eventually becoming real and the unforgettable memories from our Torne River Valley trip in 2016 stands out as my most insightful and deep summer holiday experience ever.

Norwegian language text:

Jeg vil reise rundt i Skandinavia og Finland for å se landskapet og ulike kulturelle aktiviteter, jeg er meget interessert i slektsforskning og vår etniske arv. Jeg føler at jeg har det for travelt til å virkelig reise dit jeg egentlig ønsker å besøke, men det trenger ikke å være sånn for evig tid.

Takk for besøket/thanks for visiting ❤

Daily writing prompt

You get some great, amazingly fantastic news. What’s the first thing you do?

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Soon after hearing the wonderful news I would tell someone I know of my joy and excitement. I like to experience shared enthusiasm over good news.

Daily writing prompt

Something on your “to-do list” that never gets done.

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I’m going to be completely honest and say there are a lot of things that never get done; both inside me (mental health/voice-hearing, emotional wounds etc) and the outside world (like organizing my apartment, meeting with friends and other positive/good stressors). It’s very related to my difficult time with apathy and avolition that are significant parts of my own symptoms of schizoaffective and autistic conditions. Not everyone with these dx has the same type symptoms and difficulties that I have, just to clarify that I’m aware of the diversity within the diagnoses. And I need to sort out what I should start with first, a small step forward can help make it easier to complete and follow through with.

As I’m crazy about privacy and I have severe mental illness I chose to cover the laptop camera on my first laptop computer, and I still do this. I saw a video about schools monitoring and watching the cameras of the teenage students and it really made me aware of real abuse of digital education, not just a symptom of my true paranoid delusions and insecurity.

Daily writing prompt

What’s your favorite thing to cook?

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Mostly I just heat ready-made food in the microwave and eat by myself, but my favourite is making real home made pizza together with family members. It’s fun to decide what to have for topping and also having some greater influence on how it’s made, some related with our health conditions and savory taste in focus. And it’s made using lactose-free cheese, I’m intolerant like a lot of my fellow Sámi ethnicity patients and nurses I’ve met at psych wards.

Also it’s so much fun to finally satisfy the slight hunger and get to eat after cooking something you used some time and some creative thinking to enjoy together with other people. And I want to mention that the Zyprexa I take for schizoaffective condition can make people gain more weight. But regarding this aspect I’m absolutely not going to complain much, because I’m very happy to have responded well to medication and feeling more stable overall.

Thanks for reading ❤

I want to see my old environment I used to live in, we moved North in 2009 and I haven’t been there since then. It’s in Nordland fylke/county and I honestly wish I had courage to name the city. No, wait I’m telling you now: the name of the small city is Narvik and I lived there a significant part of my youth, and I’ve also been in Northern parts of Nordland county in general like Lofoten, Vesterålen and the rest of Ofoten area.

And I’m also sure local Northern Norwegian people know of the rival towns in the region.

1 I enjoy visual effects I get from seeing floor patterns, it’s like some slightly trippy feeling and I don’t understand why other people don’t notice and have appreciation of the visual experience

2 playing yatzy in Easter holiday sunshine on our cottage in the Mountain

3 walking the dog (my mothers dog), she is so funny when we go on a small journey in the outside world; one thing she gets up on her hind legs and I call her ‘zombie dog’ because of how she appears to humans.

4 being with my friend on a car trip around our local areas, finding some places to be outside taking pictures and other outdoor activities in addition to driving

5 music and my semi-meditative state, forgetting my troubles, not notice the time going by and feeling connection with the present time in my inner world

If I ever want to get more formal education I must confront my fear of schools and school systems and generally my fear of teenagers in general. This is a major part of my life and it’s often the reason I write about my school years and my struggles there. I don’t know really how others could truly convince me without me actually wanting to put in the efforts it needs. So those are some of my thoughts this evening.

Thanks for reading my blog, I hope your days are good ❤

I give people a good slow start opportunity to show me who they are. I listen with care and trust in my inner feelings when I interact people most of the time, a strange thing about my autism is that I’m usually good at this particular part of social life and communication. I don’t look people in the eyes so I rely on other methods in my interaction. Autistic people are real people like neurotypical persons, we have different strenghts, difficulties and gifts as well.

Thank you for your time reading ❤

I just bought a pair of winter shoes yesterday and I really love wearing them outside. The only difficult things are getting them on and off my foot, they are tall and with lacing. They are named Amundsen and made by TOPAZ brand of Norway, I have pictures of them on this blog if curious what the rest of the appearance is. It’s not reindeer hide but seals, so not ideal for many vegans. They really keep you warm even in -25°C so they are absolutely awesome high boots for our winter temperatures and climate. And my favourite hoodies along with them 🤩👌

Thank you for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

What’s the thing you’re most scared to do? What would it take to get you to do it?

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stepping out in society feels strange to put it mildly, I do it a couple of times a week now. In my late teens I was housebound for over six months due to my untreated and undiagnosed schizoaffective condition and my severe paranoid delusions played big part in this. But in my late 20s I began more withdrawal from people and I don’t socialise almost any currently. I guess to get me out of my house and out of my dark inner world when I spend time in public I need some help from friends, family and of course health-care workers. In addition I believe I need continuing treatments with medications and to optimise these drugs positive effects.

those are some of my thoughts now around this, thanks for reading ❤

Daily writing prompt

Do you need a break? From what?

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iI’m struggle with my alcohol use and psychosis bipolarity ocd etc. I have been to psych ward many times, last time in end of 22 when I got really strong paranoid delusions and wild bipolarity along, mixed states. And drinking isn’t good for my conditions both psychiatric and of course my temporal lobe epilepsy/TLE. So I need a break from my usual surroundings and 24/7 acsess to psychiatric nurse and social interaction with other patients.

And maybe I will recover after good sleep and not buying the cider too much/often. It often helps a lot sleeping if you have building level psychosis or mixed states.

thank you everyone for visiting my blog ❤

I really do complain about my way of being, especially on my blog. My looks mostly and the autism spectrum condition. Btw I’m kind of drunk so this is strange maybe, I have a strong bipolar component to my conditions and alcohol + energy drinks is powerful. Okay so on we go. I wish I was like my AI avatars and could fake normal very well in real life, I’m an Aspergian and cannot hide it well. I’m sorry being drunk/high writing and you are very worthy of respect.

I wish I accepted being exactly who I really am, but I’m going to keep fighting till the very end and I’ll achieve my main goals in life I believe.

Thank you all ❤

I love watching winter sports and these are the most eventful in general. And since I’m from Norway we have a lot of culture around skiing overall and watching television sports is a part of it. I like biathlon especially, because of the variety and skill involved. In Norwegian language it’s called ‘skiskyting’ and ‘langrenn’ and we have world famous skiers in both women and men teams.

I hope you thought it worthy of reading, and thanks for the visit everyone ❤

One of my favourite times of year is Easter when we visit our family cottage in the Mountains by a (most often) frozen lake. We sit outside and get the Easter sun tan, and make heated food on the fire outside and we enjoy it sitting outside on reindeer hide to have comfortable place, we also have outdoor chairs. We play Yatzy and other games including question games meant for Easter fun times. Another thing that’s funny for the adults there is having a cold can of cider, not drunk at all but nice slight tipsy feeling. We have some candy Easter eggs as well. 

I love Easter holiday with family ❤

1. I watch beach volleyball, chess matches and slalom

2. I read astrology books, or use astrology websites/apps

3. I use my different apps, like MyFace (it guesses your nationality based on selfie (or in my case AI avatars based on myself)

4. I drink hot tea/herbal tea on cold days, and iced tea on warm days

5. I write something on my blog, in this case especially with my strange Aspie sense of humor

Daily writing prompt

What do you complain about the most?

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it can sound like I’m complaining a lot, but I’m not going to pretend being perfectly happy with what’s going on either in offline life or in society in general. And the people who complain about other people speaking their minds is just not right, speak the truth from your perspective and don’t pretend to be fake happy.

Btw, can you tell I’m in a dark mood?

Daily writing prompt

What would you do if you won the lottery?

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Norwegian language text:

grunnen til at jeg ville blitt overrasket hvis jeg vant er at jeg ikke tipper lotto eller andre ting man kan vinne ved å betale for noe. Men jeg bruker av og til å pante flasker/bokser på butikken og der kan man vinne ganske mye penger hvis man er heldig. Men hva hadde jeg brukt pengene til? Litt til meg selv og familien som betale tilbake på boliglånet og nødvendig oppussing av huset, men også betale tilbake til samfunnet og det spesielt hvis pengesummen var stor. Jeg hadde støttet de foreningene jeg er medlem av og de organisasjonene jeg allerede støtter på nåværende tidspunkt.

I don’t know how to explain in English but in Norway we can get some money back if we bring our empty bottles and cans to the local store and put them in a machine. You can choose to donate the money to charity and get a chance to win a lot of money by doing this kind act. And as I wrote in Norwegian language I would spend the money wisely on both my own home/my family and society, different organisations I support at present time.

thank you for reading ❤

I have a couple of books I have yet to read in my bookshelf, and I really feel I should actually read through them to know what I truly need to save. I like reading and I also like physical books, and I know many of the books in the shelf are very good and truly useful to me as well. This might inspire me to read more, and that’s a very nice aspect of having litterature and other writing in the house ❤

Daily writing prompt

Write about your first computer.

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My father bought me one, he loves to give gifts and this was indeed a good buy. I used it for several years, it was colour white. I played the Sims games on it and used the Internet and video program/CD player to listen to certain music/series. Btw I don’t know my father in everyday life, he struggles with different mental conditions and addictions. This was in 2008 at age 15, that I got the computer from him.

I’m thankful for the laptop and it was a very useful gift. Thank you, father of mine.

Daily writing prompt

What books do you want to read?

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I want to re-read every good book I’ve enjoyed and been moved to tears by. And I’m open minded in nature, maybe a book I didn’t enjoy in my early years would interest me now in adulthood.

it can be any type of book, non-fiction or novels, alternative spirituality or psychiatry themes, Norwegian or English language/cultures etc

thank you all for reading ❤

My half-brother is a musician in metal genres, and writes in our native language about different topics. The lyrics are often really funny as well, in ways our family understand very deeply but others might not understand easily. Many of our family members are musical, including to some extent myself as I’ve mentioned I make music in my dreams sometimes and I love listening to different kinds of music.

I hope you enjoy music as much as we do ❤

I’m not fooling you, because favourite animal is in many ways actually the reindeer. It’s based on their beauty and symbolism, my ancestors kept reindeer including some that seems to have lived on a farm environment when the census (called folketellinger in Norwegian history) was done in one far-North coastal region location in Finnmark county in the 1800s.

Some local people seem to truly hate them but I think the little ones are so cute and special to see. And some of the cultural value is that they are of good use for both the Saami and other ethnicities here, but it’s not vegan of course.

But so is also wool clothing and blankets, they are very useful in our cold winter season and the reindeer meat is quite healthy lean and of course it’s regarded as traditional meals in our region. I especially enjoy modern variants like reindeer kebab that we have in local fast food places. Btw I’m really hungry while writing now.

Have a wonderful evening ❤

I really enjoy the experience of dreaming, I have often quite vivid and interesting dreams almost like movies of some kind. And even the difficult topics in my dreams are useful to my waking life to some degree, we face our fears while asleep. I’m an introspective mind and I enjoy what can never be taken away from me; my dreams.

Thank you for your time and I wish you a good weekend ❤

Daily writing prompt

Write about a few of your favorite family traditions.

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our far-Southern family love boats and traditional Southern food like shrimps/(also known in Norway; reker) and I love the accent/dialects our Agder county close relatives have, and further back in generations Southwest Norwegian dialects from Rogaland county. We are likely of Reisende origins and I’m happy for the diversity of cultures in family tree.

in the Northern Norwegian region, especially those with a lot of Kven and Finnish influenced cultures and language the sauna experience is especially important to our identity. And I enjoy wearing traditional clothing and most of all our unique traditional shoes ❤

and the animals my father side share in common like horses and cats, and further back on his side even a couple of reindeer living at farms according to census records.

btw, can you tell I’m very interested in our families cultural features and identity? ❤

This mountain is very close to our town and I really wish to go to the top at some point soon. It’s famous for it’s history in our region and it’s a quite tall mountain.

I was one of the war prisoners in this play, it was about our towns history in the second World War. I really tried to go deep into this character perspective, and I believe it was maybe noticed by the other actors/actresses. It was not a major role, but I really remember it quite vividly. If you know some of the history of WWII in Northern Norway, it will be quite clear why this was important to our town and why we had this play in the teather.