Early: Woke up at 5 am as usual, today I’m having the alcopop I bought yesterday along with the sugar-free Monster energy drinks. It’s in spring season and I enjoy the nice weather outside, I have a outdoor chair with a table beside to enjoy the combination in our wonderful garden. I go inside and play music on my little sound system, in this case it’s hardstyle. I listen for an hour or two then I have a long moment of stillness with closed eyes, you could possibly call it mindfulness if I hadn’t been slightly affected by the drinks. No regrets. I write something about my great day in my notebooks and on my blog, have a deep long conversation with my good friend on the phone and we make plans to meet in person soon.
afternoon: good main meal, some more alcopop along and I play some metal genres and other rock music on my iPod listening with my ear buds and appreciate this a lot. Later I stay with my mothers dog, keeping her with company while my mother is at work.
evening/night: I spend time in total Darkness to get better chance of another good nights sleep, some significant time after my session I take my regular evening medications along with a sleep aid/medications (melatonin + zolpidem combined) and I fall asleep in peace with myself and the World.
And if you are wondering why I listen to music most of the day it’s mostly because it’s genuinely fun times and partly to quiet the inner pain of my voice-hearing and intrusive thoughts. It cannot be completely “sane” or ‘normal’ in this life, it is what it is. Life is wonderful always, behind the thick, dark rain clouds and sounds of thunder.
thanks for listening, kind persons ❤
cloudB 