I don’t know if I’ve mentioned this here, but I was bullied throughout my childhood and youth years. My father was as well, yet quite more severe than in my case. I was very short and of different ethnic background from the Nordic kids in general so they made cruel fun of this constantly. My given name was a source of humiliation by them as well, I have a so-called ‘old aunts name’ for people in my generation. I think it was often motivated more by my undiagnosed Asperger syndrome and psychosis than my ethnicity/origins, autistics often stand out in our way of being and behaviour.
I also had a younger female friend with a significant case of AS/Asperger syndrome and I really wish I had been much more understanding and kinder to her, she deserved better than how we (me and her neurotypical same-aged friend) treated her. She was a true friend and I hope she is doing very well in adult years, it’s quite difficult being different often. Anyway I had best friends my own age and they helped me a lot in hard times.
I was often sick and had struggles with different conditions both in mental health/emotional reactions and physical health/well-being. I escaped my hard life in several ways, including listening to music and to skip school and stay outside; often being near a big rock by the main road and with feelings of freedom from my tormentors strong grip on my fragile self-worth.
I’m lucky to still be living, I had deep shame and my mental health was affected a lot. Thank you for reading and also for your time ❤
cloudB 